Chapter 16

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The rest of the holidays pass slowly. I mostly stay at home, wallowing in my own self-pity. I own a set of tapes by Bob Dylan, that I play when something gets me down. I've played those so much lately, that I've pretty much memorized the lyrics to every song.

Coach Bennington calls me the next day. I am told that I have been suspended for five games. I am not surprised. However, the impact still hits me like a hammer. I have never been suspended from hockey before; it's never been necessary to do such a thing.

I am not a dirty hockey player, I think to myself one night.

Yes you are, my mind says back to me. What you did to Darren was pretty nasty. It takes a dirty player to perform such an act.

I am not a dirty player, I insist.

Yes you are!

NO!!

This has happened to me quite a lot to me over the last few days. Ever since the incident happened, I can still feel the pain where my knuckles connected with Darren's jaw. I can still see Darren's blood on my hands.

I spend New Year's Eve in my bedroom, lying awake in bed. I think about the incident, as I have done so often over the three days since it has happened. I replay it over and over in my mind.

I almost stop short of the conversation Nicole and I had afterward, but my mind has other ideas. I suffer through it each and every night in my dreams. It oftentimes keeps me awake.

***

The Saturday before school starts up again, Noel calls me. He tells me that everything will be okay. He also invites me to go to dinner with him and his new girlfriend, Melanie Grigsby (the girl he went to the dance with). Even though I really don't want to, I accept his offer.

I dress in a casual white dress shirt with a black tie and black pants. I put on a pair of black loafers with it. I place a gold coloured watch on my wrist, and spiff up my hair, and I am good to go.

I get my dad to drive me to Don's, the fancy restaurant in town. I wait outside for a few minutes, and then I see Noel walk toward me.

He high-fives me and hugs me when he reaches me. "It's good to see you, buddy," he says.

"Good to see you too," I say.

"I'm sorry about what happened," he says, his face turning serious. "It really wasn't your fault, was it? Darren deserved it."

"Nicole didn't see it that way."

"That shocked me. I thought that she'd be supportive of you, not run away at the first sign of trouble."

"That's what hurt the most."

"Yeah, I understand."

"How's Mel doing?"

"She's pretty good. Her and I got along at the dance pretty well. Thought we could take things to the next level. So here we are." He looks past me. "Speaking of which, here she is."

I turn. I see Melanie Grigsby, along with another girl beside her, which I find odd. If I remember correctly, I believe the other girl is named Laura Tyramkin, from school.

"Hi," Mel says to us. "This is Laura Tyramkin. She'll be having dinner with us."

"So it's a reservation for four, then?" Noel asks.

"Yes," Mel replies.

"Hi, Jordan," Laura says to me, smiling.

"Um, hi," I reply sheepishly.

We start to walk into the restaurant. As we are walking, I say to Noel, "Did you set me up with someone?"

"Of course," he says. "I thought you needed a little something to, uh, cheer you up."

"That is exactly what I don't need right now."

"Oh well, it's too late now, isn't it?"

I scowl at him, causing him to laugh, as he puts an arm around his girlfriend. We enter the restaurant, and we get our seats. I sit next to Laura, across from Noel and Melanie.

The waiter comes by, and drops off menus. A few minutes later, he comes back and takes our orders. I order a chicken and mashed potatoes dinner, with vegetables on the side.

"So Jordan," Laura says. "I hear you're a pretty excellent hockey player."

"Uh, sure. I guess so," I reply.

"That's pretty awesome. I'm a good piano player. I also play basketball."

"Oh, cool."

"What else do you do? Other than hockey, I mean?"

"Nothing, really. Just hockey."

"Oh, ok."

I can tell that Laura is trying to flirt with me. She is sitting awfully close to me, almost to where our thighs touch. It is a little uncomfortable for me, especially after the bad breakup with Nicole. The fact that Noel set this up doesn't make me happy.

The rest of dinner goes by without much conversation. At the end of the night, I know that Laura wants me to kiss her. She leaves hints, such as telling me I'm cute, or by fluttering her eyelashes at me. I don't kiss her. It would be too awkward.

My dad picks me up, and takes me back home. I change out of my dressy clothes, and clamber into bed. My eyelids grow heavy, and sleep comes quickly.

_____

The song on the side is "Yesterday", by The Beatles.

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