Finding My Way Out **undergoing a makeover***

hunts man

It was spring time, I stood in the stone doorway of the kitchen  in my favorite long ice blue dress, my dark hair pulled loosely into a messy french braid down to my butt. I shifted against the door post, broom in hand looking off into the early evening sky, letting my pale self drift into a day dream with the breeze kissing my face ever so gently. I could see it now, a man tall and muscular built like a man should be, his arms cradled around me his hands on the small of my back forcing our bodies ever so close. 

“Guinevere!” I heard a shriek coming from our kitchen, I dropped the broom from surprise and turned around quickly, my mother was standing in the entry way to our kitchen a wooden spoon at her hip, “Guinevere! Quit your day dreaming!" i wasn't sure if she was mad or not she just shook the spoon at me and sighed, "Put yourself to some good use and go to the woods to fill me a basket of wildflowers! ” she shook the spoon at me again and narrowed her eyes, “And don’t let me catch you day dreaming against  some big oak for hours,  you be back by dusk,” she held out a basket to me. "your father should be home today and a nice beautiful meal he shall have."

“Yes Mother, at dusk. ” I   repeated to her quickly and  grabbed the basket and turned to leave, as soon as I was out the door I took off running for the woods, just as I got to the edge of the clearing and to the old dirt path,  I could hear  her yell after me.

“And fix that mop of hair on your head! So un-ladylike!” but I ignored her and continued to run, it made my week every time my mother asked me to go make myself useful, by collecting  fruit or herbs. I thought about my daydream again about the man i had in visioned and as i ran i felt my chest sigh, i would never understand why mother got father but i would never know a man. i wanted to know an man, to be touched and kissed like the pretty girls where in all of the romantic books i read. A man, i had never even seen another man besides father and i don't think i ever will. i guess that just reading about all of the possibilities that a man brings to the table is enough, i would never truly know a man.

Being able to run fee without any chains to bind me was amazing. Its not like i hated it here with my father and my mother but i wanted a way out and running away was the closest i would ever get.  So today I kept running until I could not run anymore, I never knew where I was really going just that I could somehow always find my way back.  

I collapsed under an old oak tree that sat at the top of a hill overlooking a small creek, where I knew many woodland animals came for a drink. I had been here many times before just for that reason the wild life around here was gentle and calm.  I let my head rest upon a branch of the tree causing my head  to blend into the tree like camouflage my hair was dark brown moss against the bark. Both my mother and father had blonde hair, yet I was born with nearly black, both their eyes green like emeralds, mine… blue as ice. I glanced around not because I thought anyone would be there but, just out of pure habit. 

I set the still empty basket to the side and slipped my think dark leather book out from it, a G etched across the middle of it. instantly i flipped it open, it was almost filled, every page front and back with my  questions about man and dreams of leaving this place to find answers, and my realization that I never would, because what would be the point if there is nothing else out there. I turned to the stream and saw a group of deer stop to get a drink looking back down to my book i flipped to one of the last pages in the book, and began to write.

Dear…whom ever,

I’ve come to the realization that there just might be no other place in this world,  no other man in this world i have a longing for both and I've prayed to the old gods and the new but, I’ve never seen either. As far as I know this world I live in is a big forest with a simple clearing with a stone house in the middle of it, where three people live, mother, father and me.