Everything Has Changed

Cold As You

You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

Driving through town in his car makes everything seem surreal. Though Charming hadn't changed much in the years he'd been gone it also hadn't stayed the same. A new housing project had opened and the smaller coffee shops have been replaced with Starbucks but the main drag is still small business central and from what he can see as he passes the club still owns the ice cream shop. Though now it actually sells ice cream and seem clear of all but a few club members and is full of family and couples enjoying the sweet treats on this warm June evening.

Not being able to move too far from the bikes he use to ride in terms on badassness Jax now drives a black 1969 Dodge Charger that he'd rebuilt. Split front grille, full-width taillamps and six-cylinder make it a little less difficult to be inside a cage instead of on the open road. He had a lot of time on his hands after he'd been released. Lowen had found multiple errors in Jax's deal and had gotten him released after 2 years. It was a testament to her skills and commitment. He asked her not to contact anyone in the club and to never let Tara know. He knew before he could even think about seeing her again that he needed to become the man she'd known he could be. He moved to Klamath Falls Oregon and started over. Lived simply. Lived a small life. Worked hard as a mediocre mechanic for a wonderful old man who grew to love Jax like a son.

This man, this one time stranger had taught Jax so many things about what it meant to be a man, a real man, in the short time he'd known him then in all his years with JT or Clay. He'd died about a year ago, a loss that Jax knew would haunt him and in passing he left the garage and his house to Jax. So there he was; a man with his own legit business and his own home. Everything on the up and up and yet he was still missing something.

It really didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. He'd never been truly complete without Tara, and his boys. Sure there'd been other women. He was after all Jax Teller, but as usual none of them mattered. He knew it was time to show her that he was a different man, a better man now. That he could love her and support her in the ways he always knew he should have.

So when all of the addresses he could find for her online ended in Charming he figured that she really had a dropped out of sight and the only way he might get a lead was to close his shop for the weekend and take a trip to his hometown. Even if the chance was small that the SONS might have some idea of her whereabouts he had to take it.

*********************

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Tig noticed the classic car pulling onto the Teller/Morrow lot just as he was getting ready to close up for the day. It was suppose to be an early day since there would be a party there tonight. Hoping it would be something simple or that the owner wouldn't mind coming back on Monday he approached the car as the man inside stepped out.

"Hey man I'm sorry but we are cutting it short tod.... Holy shit." He dead panned as he realized the man standing before him, looking very different but very much the same, was Jax Teller.

"Bruther!" Jax smiled at the stunned man and hugged him.

"They finally let your ass out? I know it couldn't have been for good behavior!"

"That's a long story man." Jax vaguely said.

"Want a beer?" Tig offered and ushered Jax inside the club house.

The club house has been rebuilt and Jax hardly recognized it, inside and out. It's had big bay windows and was filled with Video games and pool tables. Not much inside says secret society. How the MC conducts business in private was a mystery with all the open areas. It took only seconds for the bar inside to erupt in praise and celebration at the appearance of one of their own after all these year away.

Many of the faces were unfamiliar to Jax but some were family. Tig, Juice, Happy, Bobby. The whole placed smelled like leather, and alcohol and love. It was the only love he'd known until he met Tara, and even then he pulled her into that world instead of following her into hers. He made some small talk but scanned the group for the current president of SAMCRO, Chibs. The church doors opened and Chibs stepped out. He was more then shocked to see Teller standing before him and was frozen in place. It was Jax who made the approach to the man he loved as a friend for almost his entire life. The men embraced and Jax asked to speak privately.

Chibs tentatively moved them back into the church.

"How you been, man?" Jax asked

"Hanging in there brudah. What brings ye back to Charming?" he asks. But inside he already knows.

"Tara."

"Stupid question aye." Chibs smiles

" It's been years man and every address I can find for her is here in charming. I figure she took the "fly under the radar" seriously and wondered if the club had any info on her current 20?"

Chibs wasn't sure how to answer and didn't realize he had been sitting there in uncomfortable silence until Jax spoke, "Chibs?"

Jax was worried that Chibs was hiding some news about Tara or the boys that he was afraid to tell him. Had something happened to them? Everything he could imagine going wrong ran though his mind and he was about to push the man across from him for more information when the door behind them opened breaking the silence.

"Please don't make me stay at this party. It's for babies." Abel moans as he walk over and leans on Chibs shoulder.

Jax looks on in happy silence as Tara enters, and unaware of his presence walked over to Chibs and kisses Filip, handing off the little girl that's attached to her leg.

And just like that his exuberance at seeing her again shift to one of confusion and finally anger.

"It's your turn." She smiled at him. " I have to set up for the party. There's going to be about 15 6 year olds here in two hours." She doesn't notice anything out of the ordinary at first, it's only when she's ready to retreat to pink and purple birthday decoration that she notices the terrified look in Chibs' eyes, and that Abel seems to be looking in the same direction as the other man. She turns to follow their line of sight and sitting at the far end of the redwood reaper table is none other the Jax Teller.

There has never been a louder silence and the three stand stuck in that way for what seems like the longest moments of Jax's life. This couldn't be happening. He watches as Tara looks from him, back to Chibs and the beautiful little girl now sitting on his lap.

"Jax...." Tara starts to speak, but the words are cut short as Jax walks out of the room and out of the club house in complete silence

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

Lyrics from Cold As You by Taylor Swift