The Lost Stories: A Series of CoSmic Adventures

Lost Ship

The week got off to a bad start when I checked the listings beamed from Yoo and saw that this week's episode of Captain Courageous and the Women Who Love Himwould be a repeat. A week without a new Captain Courageousto look forward to was a week best spent in bed.

But with an interstellar war raging in the depths of space, I had to captain my warship and not sulk. Or so my first officer, Winston, kept insisting. By Wednesday, I couldn't ignore his nagging anymore and finally tossed off the covers.

“Very well, Winston,” I said. “Despite the crushing disappointment I've suffered, somehow I've found the strength to pull myself together again. Your captain is returned to you.”

I slapped him on the shoulder and went to shower and shave while Winston returned to the bridge. Although I had already requested a transfer for Winston, I now decided to recall those orders. Winston had done a splendid job covering for me over the last few days. The Captain's Logs he'd filed by cutting and splicing audio from my previous logs were so convincing I half-believed them myself! (Then again, that he'd lie to protect his commanding officer meant that Winston had a devious streak; I must remember to take note of that character trait in his next performance report).

When I strode onto the bridge, Winston said loudly, “Battled off that nasty virus, have you, Captain?”

I had no idea what he was talking about. “I haven't been sick, Winston,” I started to say. Then I looked around at the other officers on the bridge. “By which I mean, I have indeed been sick, and am still very, very ill, but it'll take more than some bug to keep me off my own bridge for more than a few days.”

Led by Winston, the officers cheered. I can be pretty quick-thinking under pressure.

“Status report,” I said to Winston when I sat down in the captain's chair.

“A small ship, perhaps from the Other Side, has trespassed into our space. We're on an intercept course, ETA two hours.”

The ship was very tiny indeed—so small it didn't even have a weapons system. Personally, I'd be embarrassed to captain a ship like that. Although size isn't everything, my ship was thirty times the size of theirs, which is something.

“Hail them,” I said. Then: “You have one second to identify yourselves or we will destroy you.”

Although I am by nature a pacifist, I had a feeling that this ship was from the Other Side, and those people only respond to threats of violence. True to form, before the full second had passed, the ship returned our hail.

“Pleese don't deestroy us,” they said in that peculiar Other Side accent. “Wee are a reesearch sheep gone eestray, a modeest veessel. Wee got lost in thee Peebular system, wheere thee radiation preeved too much for our meegre deefences. Without navigation seestems, wee treed to feend our way home, but obviously miscalculeeted.”

Winston leaned across and whispered in my ear. “We should escort them back to Other Side space. This is a great opportunity to extend an olive branch, a goodwill gesture that may be the beginning of the end of this bloody war.”

Winston had a way of saying things that made me angry. Who said anyone wanted an end to this bloody war? Certainly no one serving on my ship, a warship. What use was there for a warship or its captain in peacetime? I saw past Winston's words to the insubordination underneath.

But this time, there was more to my displeasure than Winston's regular rebellion. Here was a golden opportunity floating right beneath his nose, but Winston couldn't see it for what it was. It doesn't bode well for my succession plan when the Board finally wakes up and realizes what a great admiral I'd make.

I stood up with so much force that I almost knocked Winston to the ground.

“Ship thirty times smaller than mine!” I said. “Prepare to be boarded. Anyone who resists will be shot with lethal weapons, as those are the only kind we carry. Anyone who seems to resist will also be shot, as we can't take chances and my security personnel are a trigger-happy bunch. My suggestion is that you all lie face down—now is a good time—and be completely still while my crew boards your ship.”

To his credit, Winston gave the order to assemble and make ready a boarding party before turning to me and saying, “Captain, I don't understand.”

“And that's why I'm captain and you're not, Winston.” In fact, Winston had me down as a reference, so I knew how many times he'd been up for the position. And if it was something I'd said that caused him to be passed over all those times—well, I'm not about to apologize for telling the truth.

“Captain?” Winston said.

“Hm? Oh, yes. Like I was saying, this is a great find. We'll take it back to Earth and reap the rewards.” If this isn't worth an admiralty, I thought, I don't know what is.

“I still don't understand, Captain.”

“Don't you read the Bible, Winston?”

Winston nodded, but I knew he was lying.

“If you read the Bible, Winston, you'd know that there's nothing quite like finding a lost sheep.”