Chapter twelve; where do broken hearts go?

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Homecoming was 3 days ago. Today is my birthday. I'm 18. You would think I would be spending my birthday doing something fun or something I wasn't aloud to do yesterday like buy a pack of cigarettes just because I can or buy a lottery ticket.

But instead, on my birthday, I'm heart broken.

My body feels weak, my eyes hurt because I have done nothing but cry for the past two days. My arms and my legs are numb. My head has been pounding for hours, and the worst thing? I can feel my heart broken into a million pieces.

"Stella, you need to stop. Today is your birthday! Come on we are gonna go do something fun. We are gonna go to the mall and go pick out a nice outfit and then I'm taking you out tonight" Claire rubs my back. She's been here for me ever since it happened.

"He left Claire. He broke up with me and he left" the tears start to form in my eyes again.

"God I'm so sick of crying I want to stop crying but I can't" they fall from my eyes and I wipe them away.

Claire looks at me sadly. She shouldn't be though. I should have known this was gonna happen. I'm just stupid for getting close to him in the first place. Everyone warned me. Everyone said "stay away from Mendes" but I didn't listen. I never listen.

"Stella are you ready to talk about it yet?" Claire ask soothingly while she continues to rub my back.

I haven't told her everything. I only told her the big things like we had sex and it was great and then I slept over . He drove me home the next day and everything was perfect. And then that night, he texted me and broke up with me. I didn't give her the small details though. Those didn't matter. Not to me.

"He dropped me off" I start to talk, I immediately feel a bump inside of my throat and I scratch at it hoping it goes away.

"He dropped me off" I continue with tears continuously falling down my face "everything was great. He kissed me and he left and he said he would see me later and then" I break out into full sobs "and then he texted me that night and he said he wanted to break up" I rush the words out. I throw my hands up to my face, choking on my own breath from crying so hard.

"I have never felt my own heart break so many times before. It feels like it keeps breaking and breaking over and over again and I can't stop it from happening" she holds me close to her "oh god" I sob harder.

"I'm so stupid Claire oh god I had sex with him and he broke up with me" I wipe my face again and look at my ceiling. I feel like I can't look at her. I feel disgusting, like a used rag.

"Stella , something had to of happened there's no way he's that much of a dick to have sex with you and then break up with you" she talks to herself more than me.

"Fuck this, get ready. We are going to the mall and getting you a cute slutty outfit and we are having fun tonight!" She jumps up off my bed. She immediately goes over to my closet and picks out some clothes for me.

"I don't think I can, I feel so weak" I admit .

"Don't worry babe, I have some things in mind for him" she starts to cuss under her breath which makes me slightly laugh .

"I need to go talk to my dad" I get up off my bed and walk downstairs.

My dad and mom are in the kitchen , they stop there conversation as soon as I walk in. It's been that way for the past couple of days. They act like they have to walk on eggshells around me. Like if they aren't careful I'll break.

"Are you ready to talk to us honey?" My mom sets her coffee cup down and takes a step towards me.

"No I'm okay" I lie "did he say anything to you dad?" I bounce back and forth on the pads of my feet nervously.

"He called" my dad nods "he quit the team" he sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

He quit hockey? Why would he quit playing hockey? He loves hockey.

"I have to go" I run back upstairs to Claire

"He quit hockey, he loves hockey something had to of happened" I pace back and forth In my room. Claire placed an outfit on my bed for me to change into . I start to change out of my two day old clothes and get changed into the new fresh clothes she gave me.

"Stella I'm telling you that's not him, something happened. There's no way he would have quit hockey and break up with you. You and hockey are the two things he loves most"

"And music" I sigh

"Yeah and music" her voice fades off.

"Okay , it doesn't matter. If something did happen then he didn't want to tell me. He wanted to keep it to himself so I'm just gonna quit trying to figure out what it is" I put my shoes on and tie my hair up into a messy buns

"Lets go Stell" she grabs her purse and takes me by the wrist leading me out of my house and into her small Honda.

I look at my phone again , it seems like I've been doing a lot of that lately. I always think he's going to text me but he never does. His text never comes.

Every time I look at my phone I feel like it breaks down my spirit a little bit more each time. But I can't stop myself, I keep checking it and checking it just hoping that maybe he will finally text me but he never does, it never happens. It's exhausting.

Me and Claire spend the rest of the afternoon picking out birthday outfits for me. It only took three hours and two coffee breaks but I settle on a red satin dress that squeezes me in all the right places and makes my body look perfect.

Once we are home she does my hair and my makeup for me.

"No more crying baby" she puts the last of my eyeshadow on. "It's his loss , it's not yours" she grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eyes.

"Has chase said anything?" I look up at her with sad eyes.

She shakes her head "I'm sorry"

"Tonight is about you! Not anyone else. Screw him . It's just you tonight girl. Happy birthday" she smirks and spins me around so I can look at myself.

She does an amazing job at making me feel like I'm beautiful as always.

Tonight is about me.

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