I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one.
if you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
if laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.
Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.
Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?
You'll never be the man your mother is.
I'm sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face
Did you know they used to be called "Jumpolines" until your mum jumped on one?
Save your breath – you'll need it to blow up your date.
If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
The zoo called. They're wondering how you got out of your cage?
Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take the garbage out.
You're such a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful person. Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were having a lying competition.
Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
I'd slap you but I don't want to make your face look any better.
I just stepped in something that was smarter than you... and smelled better too.
You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
Don't you get tired of putting make up on two faces every morning?
