8. The Killer Has A Secret

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That old man was right, I was a murderer. It didn't matter how much Val or anyone else tried to convince me otherwise, I couldn't forgive myself for letting Blue Streak die.

I felt bad for never getting a chance to know the guy.

The Killjoy who's name remained unknown to me during the encounter with the man was one of Streak's best friends. His name was Pixel Trigger. Even he didn't blame me, but that didn't reassure me in the slightest. I walked away from the scene of the dispute.

"I'm going to the church, if anybody needs me." I motioned to the Trans AM weakly. I shuffled towards the car, staring at the sand beneath my feet.

I was too tired to be dealing with this shit.

My arms ached for the entire drive to the church from where Streak's father had grabbed me. I tried to shake it off as I continued my journey. It was still very early in the morning when I arrived, and I didn't expect anyone to be awake. I just had to get out of there.

I also didn't expect to have Party follow me to the church on my brother's motorbike.

He skidded to a halt, kicking up dust behind him. His hair was a bright mess across his face, thrown in different directions in the wind.

"Did you actually fucking follow me?" I clenched my jaw. I wasn't in a very great mood as it was, but he didn't make me feel better.

"Sorry, but I was worried about you." He admitted, walking towards me.

"I said I'm fine." I crossed my arms.

"You can say that, but I know you're not fine. I know you, Atomic. That wasn't 'fine'." Party was standing right in front of me. He still didn't feel real.

"Oh please, what do you know?" I rolled my eyes.

"C'mon, you haven't changed that much." Party chuckled.

His laugh was contagious, but I forced myself to look unamused with him. I didn't want him to know that I was feeling unsure of myself, and him being this close to me did not help me to figure out what I should be feeling.

"I like the hair. It suits you." He commented. I ran my fingers through my messy crimson hair.

"Well, what can I say? I got tired of the blue." I shrugged, letting down my guard unintentionally.

"I see you've been taking care of this beauty while I've been away." He patted the hood of the car he used to absolutely adore.

"Val wanted to scrap it, but I decided to keep it." I explained, smiling at the old painted vehicle.

"You and Val do seem very close." Party commented, immediately regretting his words as they poured out of his mouth.

"Yeah." Was all I said. I thought that would be a great cue for him to drop the topic, but Party continued.

"On that last night in the desert, before I...died. You said you didn't love him. Has that changed at all?" He pried. I bit my cheek, unable to come up with a clear response.

"I can't say I love him, but I also can't say that I don't feel anything for him." I explained, averting his gaze.

"I see." He responded bluntly. I could tell that he was hoping for a different answer.

"Party, I-" I started, but stopped myself.

"What?" He tilted his head, eager for me to finish my sentence.

'I'm still in love with you. I always have been. I've missed you every day since you were killed. I never really moved on, only built myself back up. I still need you.'

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