Resolution

57. Without You

"I won't soar, I won't climb, if you're not here I'm paralyzed."

Song: Without You

Artist: Boyce Avenue acoustic cover (originally David Guetta) 

Time seemed to have no meaning as the night dragged on.  We both lay awake in each other’s arms for what felt like hours before Harry’s breathing finally evened out and sleep overtook him.  We were tangled together in every way possible, just as we had been the entire night.  Once we had given up on trying to convince the other of our own way, we had laid together in silence to let our bodies attempt to convey the determined pleas of our mindsets.

The mood had been oddly comfortable and thick with tension all at the same time; it was as if the frustration was seeping from our pores and flooding the air around us, the heavy weight of it lingering in the bed.  I didn’t know what to say to him to get him to agree with me and take no actions against Ben and Miles, but the stress of it was getting to me. 

I could feel it in every breath I took- the gut-twisting feeling of something inevitable that I was grasping at straws to prevent.  It was what kept me from falling asleep despite being comfortably wrapped in Harry’s arms.  He lay on his back, his strong limbs holding me practically completely on top of him.  My leg fell between his, my thigh pressed between his as even his legs held on to me by wrapping around my own.  I could feel the heat of his skin on his chest against my cheek as I laid my head there, my arms wound around his neck as his clung around my torso. 

I was afraid to move because it had taken him so long to actually fall asleep and I didn’t want to wake him.  I could feel it in the tightness of his grip on me how much this was affecting him as well; he wanted me to cave and listen to him while I wanted the exact opposite.  Both of us refused to bend to the other’s will because we were both so intent on protecting the other. 

I shifted slowly and held my breath without realizing as I moved slightly up his body.  My elbows propped me up as they rested on either side of his head.  A quiet sigh left my lips when I saw he was still asleep.  My eyes shifted across his face in his vulnerable, unguarded state.  Still, after everything I’d been through with him, I found it hard to believe how different he could look when he was asleep.

His face was wiped clean of any facial expressions I had come to know; there was no sign of any smirk, grin, brow furrow, or any of the other intense expressions he frequently wore.  All that remained on his face now was a beautiful innocence- a clean slate that left a vast possibility for conveying whatever he felt.  His muscles in his sharp jaw were slack, and the usual knee-weakening clench of the joint was gone.  The lack of tone in his muscles allowed his full, rosy lips to part slightly.  Soft tufts of air whispered through them as he slept, the quiet whoosh that sounded with each breath something I frequently fell asleep to. 

His brows, which were often either pulled down low as he studied me or wiggling around his forehead as he laughed, were settled in their natural place, the soft bristles of hair unruly and perfectly boyish.  There was no tension around his eyes as the lids fluttered slightly in his sleep, the smooth backs of them masking his breathtaking eyes that could convey thousands of words in a simple look.  The enviable full lashes rested lightly against the soft skin under his eyes, which tonight was tinted slightly darker because of his mental exhaustion. 

Every inch of his skin was beautiful to me, the soft, smooth texture of it hindered by a light smattering of stubble along his chin and jaw.  A tiny mole decorated his lower left cheek, and I found my hand unwinding gently from beneath his neck to allow my fingers to pass over it.  The warm wisp of air that passed his lips hit my hand as I did so and I couldn’t help but sigh, pleased he had finally reached a peaceful slumber.