Journals of jewel

Faded Lines

Today I woke up with a feeling of excitement for no apparent reason. It's as if it were locked inside me searching for an escape, but then again what was the reason or purpose? I grabbed my journal and pen & started writing.

"These lines I write on will soon be faded, for I feel my feelings are too.

It's hard to describe things in such a

non- detailed way for that is what I tend to do. I've heard. I've seen. I've felt the wind on my skin, the rain on my hair. Nonetheless it is what I seek. I seek for an adventure I remember and the type I'll ponder to my rest of my existence. For that I've decided to start seeking not only myself but some adventures throughout the way...."

I got out of the room leaving my journal there just exposing it. I usually hide it since there is a lot of people in this house, but then again nobody understands my thoughts I bring to this journal. Only me, myself , and I seem to complete these days and daily written words. I thought of what I would do today since I really had no plans. I was planning and really wishing to go to the beach, and write something there as well as take some pictures. I had this image of the blue sky and the white clouds earlier. How I would capture them not only on my camera but in my mind. It's not whether the memory is big & grand it's whether you make it unforgettable, and make it worth your thoughts. That's what I was seeking, that was my only dream I hoped would become a reality soon.

Me, my mom, and some friends went to beach , and it was good since I hadn't touched or felt that sand on my feet for a while now. Everyone was just enjoying the water, or getting a tan. I felt as if I was missing something since everyone was doing the exact same thing, but then I wondered, " I'm here to be myself & this is what I enjoy to do and search for." I snapped some pictures I would later print out & put in my board which I had a lot of pictures on. I started writing on my journal , and wrote about the birds and the salty waters that accompanied the sand. Even if they were two different things they seemed to join and create something beautiful. I wondered if someday I would join the sand and create something beautiful as well. My trip to the beach ended, but luckily I was there to see night , and how it came to be. In my mind I was so happy towards all I saw and wrote about because it was a relaxing day. We stopped by a restaurant & ordered some food. I was hungry, and I mean Hungry. They say water makes you hungry for some apparent reason, but whatever that reason was it seemed to be accurate. We got on the car and drove towards the bridge which soon would take us home. I heard some music that seemed to please me, then I turned around to see a group of guys particularly my age and one older that was driving. One of them looked at me , or probably at my pretty friends next to me. I decided to ignore it , and I took pictures of the sunset, and how it was going to sleep or hide itself from this world. Something I wish I could just do with no wonders of where I seemed to hide. I just remember laying down on becca's shoulder (my friend) and shutting my eyes until I came into a deep sleep.

"Uhh yea some people were saying what you said about me and i don't know if we should still be friends. " "I didn't say anything about you and that's for a fact those people just want attention, but if your willing to give up a good friend who acknowledges everyone makes mistakes including their friend for believing other people then ok I understand, but don't come back. " I quickly woke up since remembering this was something I didn't seek for since it would ruin my day. I woke up in my mattress next to my journal. I immediately started writing to it,

" Dear journal,

It's been so hard lately with all these memories that come to me & aren't pleasant... I feel as if she , comes to my mind to mock me constantly knowing I still have troubles. She was there for me when there was nobody, and it's hard to keep going. I still yet remain to write on this journal with faded lines I've created with my tears now. Maybe time will tell what eventually happens. If I make new friends who will not only be familiar people but company to rely on. "

I shut the notebook and I went to fast deep sleep. Pondering these thoughts that have now abandoned me for I didn't think of my "friend " the whole week or month which was good. I wanted to leave everything from the past behind me to start living in the present. I decided to just do that.