I'm Drowning

I'm drowning

I'm being smothered by my emotions

Shame, Anger, Grief...it's all weakness

And I can't overcome it

It's making me sick

I can feel it

Pressing on my skull

Churning my stomach

I want to scream

To let it all go

But I can't

I have to hide it all

Under a mask

Despite errors, I possess a wall

That cannot be broken

Nobody knows...

How I ache to cry all day

But I only indulge myself at night

That I blast music 

To block my thoughts

How I scratch and bite myself

As a calming method

That I long for the relief of

Death

But it's building up

Swallowing me whole

Help me please! 

For I'm drowning

And it's so comforting

The depression is normal

The fear

The nerves

The disgust

Is normal

Help me please!

For I'm drowning

Lock and key

Zip my lips

I feel it

I can't get away

It fills me

I'm so tired

I want to let it take me

I can't do it anymore

Help me please! 

For I'm drowning

It scares me

How I dream of slicing my flesh

Wanting to bleed

The pain is welcome

It takes the agony away

Help me please!

Help me please!

For I'm drowning

And I'm going to give up