Science, Fiction, Science Fiction

Science Fiction

The Carter Connection

 He charmed, 'em,

 Jimmy did

 It's the smile

 that did it

He introduced his wife,

swapped stories

and techniques

for raising peanuts

but avoided

an invasion.

The First Bush Administration

It took three-and-a-half years

 to notice

 he was            

 missing.

The Santorum Probe

They landed in a tobacco field,

 a shiny, silver ship

 and sucked him up with tractor beams,

 stripped and strapped him to a table,

 and probed him from behind

 with a long metallic snake

Finished, they buffed his brain clean

 and dropped him in a forest…

 but the visions keep returning.

The Sarah Palin Abduction

They marked the cerebral cortex Zone A

 Zone B, the oblongata

 C, cere,

D, bellum

 E,

        frontal lobe

 Drew a grid, numbered pieces, keeping notes,

 and put everything back

                                                       exactly

 as it had been

                              before

 only C 2-32,

 E 24-38,

 A 2-5 and 2-6

 left over

 The Romney Experiment

They took Willy up once a week or so

 to download, dabble and tweak

 always snickering as they sent him back down again

 to watch the new dance

 he would do.

Observing Reeves

 They didn't poke him

 or cut him in pieces

 but set him behind a force field, and stared.

And Keanu stared back.

 Didn't say much

 actually, nothing

 but just watched them: 

 pale skinned, in a line,

 big, black eggplants in their sockets

 and tiny mouths held in perpetual ‘O’s.

 watching him: 

 head tilted to one side

 long bangs in his face

 moaning, “Whoah.”

 The aliens had no eyelids

 but blinked first.

The Truth About Kathie Lee

Their faces adorned

 milk cartons

 which asked, "Have you seen

 this child?"

And no one had...

 how could they?--

 A million light years away

 speeding toward the mining camps.

  She marched them around,

                                                 proudly

that smile kept their fingers

 working

 until callused

 and she soothed them

 with a kiss

keeping spirits high,

 and prices down

Mating Season on a Small Planet orbiting M-51

  The two moons align in the sky, signifying union.

 The females float in on the tides

 as males await them

 on the beach, in hordes

 posing,

 as a peacock would unfurl

                                        feathers.

They puff up their amoeba-like forms

 into pyramids, cones, and tetrahedrons.  The moon's

 light glistens off their clear membranes

 as they metamorphize

 into unnatural shapes

 putting harsh, jagged geometries

 to their soft, rounded

 bodies.

Tetrahedrons are in this year.

Some have chosen plastic inserts

 which work similarly to tent poles

 to aid in their quest

 for the perfect body.

The females roll along the beach

 as if shopping

 considering some, overlooking others

 wiggling and hooting

 to girlfriends.

  They pair

 and trundle into the ocean together

 except for a few stragglers

 who couldn't perfect a cone tip.