We Are Broken

So I'm creating a new version of We Are Broken. I just want to try to rewrite it, fixing some of the dumb parts I had. I am keeping the old version of it up until this one is completed, then I intend to take it down. Well here it goes.

Prologue:

Suicide has been something I have contemplated for some time now. It's something that I have wanted all my life. If I did die, then I would be free of all this insanity. I would no longer have to be me. I would be free to move onto another life. There would be no more Fay Ramon.

That thought really summed up everything. No more Fay Ramon wouldn't really affect anything at all. Life would be better if I didn't exist, plain as that. Even my parents seemed to think so. Or they did when they had given me up. No more me could quite possibly save the world.

“How are you today?” Dr. Anthony Chanaway asks me, making small notes in his little journal.

“I'm the same as I am every damn day.” I reply.

“Today is different. You are moving out of the hospital today. That's a good sign, is it not?” he asks.

I shrug, not bothering to answer any more questions. Dr. Chanaway knew just as well as I did that he would only get a one sentence response a day from me. He was lucky to receive that much. Everyone else who tried to deal with me received even less.

Today I was to be moved into his Shrink House For Emotional Nutcases. This was where I was supposed to be rehabilitated and then emerge out into society.

I didn't plan on staying there or anywhere long. As soon as I was free of this hospital, I was going to be gone. No more Fay Ramon.

The house he was taking me to was called Rosenberg. On the brochure he showed me, it said something about helping those who had come from a difficult past and helping them move past it. The only way to move past it is to end it. These scars. These emotional breaks were going to stay with me forever. There was no way to move past them. It's already too late for me. I'm too far gone.

It looked just like it did in the books. Too picturesque. The brick house was nice and large. Landscaping was perfectly done. Everything was a bit too green for my taste. There wasn't a speck of brown in the lawn or shrubbery.

Inside was just as nicely done as the outside. A “warm and comfortable” environment had been designed to welcome anyone who walked through the door. Warm colors were meant to comfort you or something like that.

“Currently there are two other residents here. You will be able to meet them when you feel comfortable.” Dr. Chanaway tells me as he leads me to my room.

Light blue walls greeted me. It was a step up from the all white and beige room I was in at the hospital. Tan sheets were on the bed. On top of the sheets was a duvet that had several different shades of blue in some funky design. This room was meant to be welcoming. I only saw it as a temporary stay.

“All right, I will just leave you to settle in.” he steps out of the room.

Tonight would be the night. I just had to wait until he went to sleep. Once he was asleep, I would finally be able to sleep.

He claims that I will be safe if I stayed here. There was no guarantee that I would be safe. I could never be safe. They were always going to be there, waiting for me. Safety was a luxury that I wasn't going to have until I ended everything.