echoes of silence *WWE Fanfic

xxi.

I'm walking out of the restaurant when Dean gets out of the car. "Ma'am? Where are you going?"

I keep walking faster the opposite way. What am I going to do? Because I don't want to live with Seth anymore.

"Ma'am?" Deans voice is louder and I start running. With my luck I trip and fall. Dean quickly runs to me and helps me up.

"Are you okay?" He asks and I nod my head slowly. Falling and scratching my knees hurt but not nearly as bad as what Seth told me.

"Where were you heading?" He asks. I continue to look at the floor. "Home." I say sniffing. "I can take you let's just wait for the master-"

"No. I'm not going back to that place. I'm going to my apartment." I say as the wind dries my tears on my cheeks.

"Ambrose take the lady back to the house." Seth says behind me. I turn around and look at him angrily. "I don't want to."

Seth completely avoids eye contact and ignores what I said. "Ambrose take the lady back to the house." This time his voice sounds more stern.

Dean looks at me and I start walking to the car. I can't run away because I would probably get killed. Even if I was to leave how will I get to my apartment?

They've probably already rented to someone else and I don't even have money. I get in the back and I'm waiting for Seth to come in but he doesn't.

Dean starts driving away and I see Seth standing on the same spot he was while ago. He's got his hands in his pockets and even though the car windows are black tinted he's looking right at me.

•••

"Could I get you something for the scratches?" Dean asks as we enter the house. I shake my head no and walk up the stairs.

Once I'm in the room I close the door and sigh sitting on the floor. A deep sadness falls over me and I want to cry again. I want to cry so hard and so so bad but no tears are coming out of my eyes.

Seth's words keep echoing in my mind. "Because you're shallow, Nicole. You only care about money. That's why you can't stop selling your body to men. You're so shallow and it's sad honestly."

His words just keeping repeating over and over in my head. They won't leave me alone. He said it with so much bitterness and so much disgust it makes me sad.

I don't understand why his words have such a huge impact on me. It's not the first time I've been treated bad but being treated bad by Seth makes me weak.

Maybe it's because I've wanted to meet him since I started this business. Maybe because I wanted him to want me like other men do. But I just can't get to him.

I can't break down through his walls he won't let me. He's so stubborn and quite harsh with me. I just don't know why.

As I'm sitting on the floor staring at the red dress he bought me my head starts remembering things.

"He's a really sweet guy." I tell Lana as I follow her behind. "And?" She asks not impressed. She walks in a boutique and I enter as well knowing I have no money for this types of clothes.

"And no man has ever treated me this way. He's not like... like my ex boyfriend." I say quietly. "Okay so your new boyfriend might be sweet and caring but he's a pizza boy, Nicole."

Lana is looking at some sunglasses. My eye catches a beautiful pair of them. When I see the tag price and my mouth goes dry. Seven hundred fifty for a pair of glasses?

"Do you honestly think you can ever get this pair of sun glasses marrying a pizza man? You'll go broke." She says grabbing the pair I was just looking at.

"It's not all about money." I reply. "No but money is pretty great. Don't think I don't notice how much you admire my clothes and my car and my apartment. You want that for yourself, Nicole. I can help you like I've said it before. It's not that hard."

I turn my face and see a woman looking at a gorgeous black dress. It's so, so, beautiful it's breathtaking. Then I see another woman trying on a gorgeous pair of golden shoes.

"What do I have to do?"

I shake my head trying to stop the thoughts. I get up from the floor and walk to the bed.

The red dress got dirty from my knees when I tripped while ago. I take off the gown and lay it on the bed.

"One day I dream of us getting married. We will have our own house and four beautiful children. Our house is going to be one of those fancy two story houses." He says as we're laying on the grass.

I stare at the clouds and remember Lana's words. "How?" I whisper. "I will work really hard. I will save up for school and get a degree and work extra hard just for you, Nikki."

He's so different from my ex boyfriend. He's so sweet and caring and he never ever hurts me in any way. So why is this not enough? Why am I not satisfied with this?

"Selling pizzas?" I ask. He turns his head and faces me. "I know it's not the best job in the world but it's difficult nowadays."

"That's what you've been saying for a year. Shouldn't you already be in school? Have your own car? Something?"

He furrows his eyebrows together and looks a bit hurt. "Why're you talking to me like this?" I sit up and wipe some grass from my legs.

"Because I can't keep doing this. I want money, power, fame. I want to be a famous actress, a famous singer, a famous something. I want to be known and I want to have a car and money. I don't want to struggle working at a fast food restaurant. I want to have lots of money and not have to worry about being broke. And I can accomplish that with you. I'm sorry."

This time tears do come out of my eyes along with horrible sob noises. That was many years ago but I never thought of it until now.

Seth is right.

I am shallow.

I'm so shallow it is sad.