My gaze has become cold,
My eyes icy and dead,
My old and cherished excitement,
Has now been ripped to shreds,
The future I once longed for,
I now don't want at all,
Underground I'm 5 foot deep,
Can't I have that extra fall,
Thing is, the old Jasmine isn't returning,
She has been taken and replaced,
She was killed by her inner demons,
Who made her feel disgraced.
***
You never loved me,
I've seen right through your lies,
I've read you like a book,
Now pain is what I disguise,
In both of your hands,
You held my captured heart,
You took a quick glance,
Then slowly tore it apart.
***
My breathing lessened,
As well as my pain,
Along with negative memories,
I won't re-live again,
My note was on my bed,
"It's my time to die,
I'm sorry I'm going to leave,
But I have to say goodbye",
Why people hated me,
At the time I couldn't think through,
But now it's perfectly clear,
Because now I hate me too.
***
I'm living in a box, hardly able to move.
Time and time again I cry,
Flooding the little space I have, coughing and spluttering,
Barely able to breathe.
I'm living in a box, hardly able to move.
Time and time again my anger rises,
And I slice the walls with knives and blades,
Causing cracks to appear.
I'm living in a box, hardly able to move.
Time and time again I scream in anxiousness,
My screams reverberating into every corner,
Causing it to shake.
I'm living in a box, hardly able to move.
The box is my body, my shelter and my disguise.
***
I swear I lost my mind,
Always having to lie,
The smile stayed on my face,
Yet my heart seemed to be misplaced.
When people asked me if I was okay,
I always said "I'm fine",
When normally I was depressed,
And my head was severely messed.
I watched the clock on the wall,
Endlessly ticking away,
Counting the seconds closer to my death,
And just longing for my last breath.
Finally I'm happy,
In a place I love to be,
Where eventually my life has ceased,
And I am now resting in peace.
