Ever Changing

08

      If someone tells Jackson Mark and him have been hugging for ten minutes, he'd say that person is lying. It's impossible that it's been so long because it feels like only two heartbeats have gone by when Mark pulls away, somewhat reluctant but definitely breaking the embrace. Jackson's arms linger around the older rapper a bit longer, his hands sliding across the boy's sides, resting on his hips for just a breath before they put some more distance between them.

When Jackson meets Mark's eyes he doesn't miss the longing he sees in the older's gaze, which leaves him breathless. But Mark controls his expression faster than Jackson can react and soon he's smiling with lips tightly pressed together before he raises a hand to ruffle Jackson's hair in such a fond gesture.

"That wasn't that hard, was it?" Mark asks but for a second Jackson is too surprised to answer, he just stares at Mark. He's trying to act casually, but there's a tension to which the younger can't be oblivious, there's an edge in Mark's voice and movements.

"Oh," Jackson affirms absentmindedly.

"You know what? As an offering for this new agreement, let's go have dinner together. My treat," Mark proposes. "Meat," he specifies a second later with a more natural smile.

"You have to tell Jinyoung you're the one buying or he'll get all pissy again," Jackson replies, causing Mark to laugh heartily.

Mark's laughter has always been high-pitched and contagious, loud and just so cute. It's probably why everyone loves his laughter and the fact that it's just so loud, it makes everyone pay attention to the older and smile fondly at him. This time Jackson can't help himself or the pride he feels in his guts for making Mark laugh without anyone staging it. This is completely real.

"I'll take care of that, just make sure to leave space for me in your tight agenda."

Jackson gives Mark the OK sing and a big smile, to which the older replies with a wider one, infinitely fonder. This is the first time Jackson realises and witnesses that Mark has never had any negative feelings towards him, that Mark has always had the best disposition and if he had tried before they could've avoided so many bad moments. If Jackson had tried to get along with Mark instead of attack him then things would've been a lot different. Mark wouldn't have fought back, instead he would've just smiled like he is doing now, warmly and happily. However, Mark's eyes still have a tint of sadness.

"Let's go so we can continue rehearsing," Mark speaks then, his expression becoming more neutral by he throws an arm around Jackson's arms, his hand squeezing the younger's shoulder before he starts leading the way.

While they walk, Jackson is surprised to find himself not minding the contact. With a more accepting attitude and the best intention to solve their differences and try to become friends, Jackson can feel at ease next to Mark. The older, despite being so slim, is so comfortable and warm and he feels so nice next to Jackson.

Jackson knows Mark is the affectionate type, in a reassuring way. He's seen how he's always wrapping hands around the other's arms or napes, with a light squeeze as if telling them 'it's okay.' Now, as they walk together the younger assumes Mark will be like that with him too, casually running his hand down Jackson's arms, or holding him by the back of his neck, maybe wrapping his arms out of the blue.

His guts twist in anticipation and there's a tingly feeling in his chest.

It's odd how Mark's proximity used to be such a dreadful thing before, making Jackson's skin crawl whereas now it only fills the younger's stomach with warmth. Perhaps it's because they've made out.

And with that thought, his mind is filled with the memory of said kiss and it's almost as if it's happening now, the weight of Mark's hand on his shoulder so similar to the way he held the younger that day. The warmth of that slim body so close but not quite yet.