No Dignity No Doubt

III.

"Well it took you long enough," Savannah said when I came to the top of the ladder of the treehouse.

"Shut up," I said. "Vera isn't even here yet."

"Yes I am."

"Whatever." Savannah said. "Did you bring my bike back?"

I nodded. "That's why I signaled the flag. I didn't want to wait any longer with it because sometimes Warden goes into the alley to do who knows what."

"Maybe she's selling something. Something illegal." Will said. Vera smacked him on the head with the magazine she was previously reading.

"So... since we're all here, we should have a statistics meeting," Jake said and all of us groaned. Statistic meetings are the one thing I don't like about coming here. They make you want to drink a whole bottle of cough syrup.

"Ok I know it's boring but we have to have them." He said as he pushed his glasses higher on his nose.

"Did we get our money from the Whirley street prank yet?" Savannah asked.

Vera looked at the clipboard. "Bridget's in the city right now meeting them for the payment."

"Have the police called anyone's parents lately?" That was our biggest fear. Sure, the police call peoples parents all the time. Except mine. They don't know where I'm from. But other people get called. The greatest thing we do here is never leave a trace. So they can't actually do anything to us. Authorities knew who did it, but there wasn't enough evidence to present to the judge and send us away to reform school.

All around me, they were shaking their heads no. Good.

"Any new ideas for pranks? Anyone?" Savannah asked hopefully.

We like to have prank ideas ready before we get the call. It's better and less stressful that way.

I opened up the notebook with all of our successful and unsuccessful pranks inside. It had the planning idea, who was at the scene, what happened, and how well it worked rated on a scale of 1-10.

"We could redesign some old pranks that didn't work to recycle them."

I said as I looked at all the red marks on the tops of pages.

It was hard to come up with so many and we've just about done anything you could think of.

"Maybe. Except you have to always remember-" Will was cut off by the phone ringing. It was a cheap gray cellphone, untraceable that we bought minutes for on a card. It worked really well for us because everybody was poor and we worked out of a treehouse.

Jake picked it up and started writing on a piece of paper. "Uh-huh. Yeah. There's a waiting period. As long as it takes for us to discuss wether we want to take the job or not. Two days maximum. On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you want us to get your coworker? Ex-coworker. Sorry. Ok. Yeah. We'll get back to you ASAP with our decision and more questions on what he hates. Ok. Alright. Thank you for calling. Have a good day. Bye."

"It was a lady who quit when she was offered another job. She really hated this one coworker so she wants us to get him good." He told us as he finished writing.

"What number on the scale?"

"Nine. She really hated him."

Nine on the scale meant that she wanted him really embarrassed or set back, but without any actual pain. Pain was reserved for number ten.

Dun dun dun.

*screams in the background*

"Earth to Trixie! Did you hear me?" Jake asked while Savannah threw a chip at me.

"No I obviously didn't." I said while I are the chip that landed in my lap.

"Smart aleck." Will said.

I threw a pillow at him which he easily jumped away from.

"Is that the best you can do?" He said with a smirk.

"I can slap that smirk off of your face."

Savannah and Vera said 'ooh' and Jake just backed away saying something about having to "relieve himself".

"Yo," Bridget said as she hauled herself into the treehouse. "I bring the money."

"How much?"

"Full payment." She said and fanned out the dollars.

Jake came back and pulled out the notebook. "Which prank was that?"

"Whirley street." Bridget said and put the money on the little table.

Jake turned to the page labeled "Whirley Street" in blue pen.

"Amber, Will, Trixie, and me." He said.

"Good. I can use that money because Gertrude didn't give me enough money." I said and looked at the clock.

Dang it.

"What'd you tell her you were doing?" Savannah asked with a mouthful of pretzels.

"You eat like a horse." Will said to her.

"Does it look like I care?"

"I said I was gonna go buy more window cleaner and she said to be back before dark."

"Ouch that's tough." Vera said.

"You better start moving now because the sun is setting."

"Bye. See you noodles later."

A chorus of goodbyes rang from the little wooden structure as I raced down the ladder.

*~*~*~*

When I got to the store it was almost closing time. They were locking the doors and I had to beg them to stay open.

I found some cheap store brand and came to the counter to pay. The cashier was reading a newspaper. On the front page was the headline "Underground Jokesters Get Away Again". She put down the newspaper to scan the bottle. I turned the paper to face me and started reading the article.

"You can have it" she said. "I only do the games in the back."

I thanked her and folded it up in my pocket so Gertrude wouldn't take it from me.

Opening up the door, the house was quiet. I slipped into the kitchen and put the window cleaner on the counter.

Charlotte was in our room looking flustered.

"Hey-"

She attacked me with a hug and started crying. What?

"Umm...?"

"Oh Trix... they took... and then...that's why it's so... and then Gertrude..."

"Ok so I'm concerned but you're crying too much to be able to tell me why I'm concerned." I said and attempted to pry her off of me.

After she calmed down quite a bit, she took a deep breath and said.

"They've taken Gertrude in for child neglect."

"And this is bad because...? Come on! We should throw a party!" I said and did some type of funky chicken dance.

"Now we're getting a new guardian."

"Ok? That's what we've been wishing for!"

"We have to move away. I'll never see my friends from Girl Scouts again. And you won't be able to go to the prank meetings."

Oh. So that's why.

*~*~*~*