Is It Fair?! [MalePregnancy] (Sequel of "This Isn't Fair")

Chapter 34: Daddy

During the ride back home, Jamel told me how was his life with Casey. I was glad to learn that Casey didn't do anything bad to him. He explained how he hated taking pills but that he had to in order to get better. He also told us how boring it was because Casey was always busy and never wanted to play. He told us about the fact that he didn't have toys and that he had to pass time by watching TV. Benoit was also listening to him but I could see in his eyes that he was thinking about something.

"He will sleep in the guest room. We will just have to decorate it." Benoit told me before turning his head toward Jamel. "Do you already know which color would you like for the walls of your room, Jamel?"

"Red!" He exclaimed with an excited smile which made me smile.

Benoit smiled back as we left the car and we made our way toward the apartment. I held Jamel's hand, still not completely believing that he was there, with me.

"Why we're here?" Jamel asked in a small voice and a frown on his face.

"This is where we are going to live now." I answered in a gentle voice, not knowing how I was going to tell him the truth about Russell, Benoit and the baby.

Luckily for me, he didn't ask more questions. Once in the apartment, we showed him his bedroom and promised him that we will buy new objects and toys for his room very soon. After that, he watched some cartoons on TV while Benoit and I were talking in the kitchen.

"I don't know how to tell him about Russell. He considered him as his father and he's going to be devastated when I'm going to tell him the truth..." I whispered with a sign while looking at my son. I knew how much this news would hurt him and I really didn't want that.

"I think it's better to tell him the truth as soon as possible, it will be easier for him. Not today but during the week or so. He needs to know so he can start his grief..." He told me in a soft voice while holding my hand and squeezing it gently.

"You're right." I replied with a sigh before adding. "I will tell him tomorrow. I know how much this news will hurt him so I just want to enjoy having him back today."

"Of course, I totally understand." Benoit said, squeezing my hand and kissing my cheek.

I smiled at him and sat next to Jamel. Jamel looked at me and smiled when he saw that I was watching him with a soft smile. Then, he climbed on my legs and threw his arms around me, hugging me as strong as he could. I hugged him back, trying to fight the tears that wanted to come out. I missed him so much and hugging him again was probably the best feeling in the world. Between the emotions of getting my son back and the pregnancy, my feelings were totally out of control.

The rest of the day was spent with Jamel and us playing with him or listening to him speak about random things like the fact that he wanted a flying car for his birthday or that he hoped to get a dog one day. Benoit was less present but he was still there. I could understand why though, it mustn't be easy to be considered as a friend and nothing more while my son was there. Thinking about Benoit being uneasy made me sad but I knew everything would change tomorrow... I hoped Jamel would accept him easily...

♂+♂=♥

"I'm scared..." I whispered to Benoit while looking at him.

Benoit slightly raised his head from my chest and looked at me with understanding eyes. "I know... Just do what you think is the best for him. I won't blame you."

I nodded and gave him a small smile while stocking his long blond hair. After a few minutes, we got up and put some clothes on. I heard footsteps in the corridor, making me smile. I opened the door and was met by Jamel standing in front of it and it seemed like he had been waiting for us to open the door.

"Good morning mommy!!" He exclaimed with a big smile while hugging my legs with his little arms.

"Good morning!" I answered, taking him in my arms and kissing his cheek. "Are you hungry?"

He nodded energetically while looking behind me. Once he saw Benoit, he waved, giving him one of his cute smiles. We all made our way to the kitchen where I put Jamel down while I cooked some scrambled eggs with bacon. I knew I was going to tell Jamel the truth after the breakfast which made me dizzy and want to vomit. I forced myself to finish my plate, mostly for the baby. Once everybody was done, Benoit got up and cleaned the dishes. I took this opportunity to take Jamel's hand and leaded him toward the sofa.

"Jamel, I need to tell you something important." I said in a small voice, wishing it sounded more confident.

"We're going to see Daddy?!" He asked, his eyes lighting up at the same time.

I took a deep breath and looked at him in the eyes. "Baby... Rus-... We're not going to see Daddy... He died in a car accident to save you." I said in a shaky breath and tears in my eyes. I took Jamel's hand in mine and hated the way his face changed once he heard these words.

"Never see him again?" He asked in a small voice and I could see his eyes getting shinier at every seconds. I could also see his heart break which made the whole situation even harder.

"No... I'm sorry..." I whispered, a tears falling down my cheek. My heart broke when my son started to cry, understanding what I meant. I hated the fact that I couldn't do anything to ease his pain.

I took him in my arms as we both cried during quite a long time. Once, I couldn't cry anymore, I kissed his cheeks and wiped our tears away.

"You know, Benoit helped me a lot after the accident. He also helped getting you back here, with me... With us..." I took a deep breath before continuing to speak. "Benoit and I are together now... He's a great person and I'm sure you will love him..." I whispered, waiting for his reaction...

 ♂+♂=♥ 

I'm so sorry for not updating for so long! I'm so busy with my studies, it's insane... I don't even know when I will be able to update again but I will try to as soon as I can :(

But thank you so much everyone for all the comments/votes, it means a lot!

~~> picture of Benoit

~~~> Picture of Michael