To start off this is a little note type thing to a person who hurt me. All people who know me in real life will obviously know who this is. If you don't, well I hope you can learn from this...
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Love.
What a word… Nowadays who knows what it truly means. I thought I knew, that was for sure. It used to have so much meaning and life. But throughout teenage years it’s seemed to lost all meaning.
A Heart.
It’s what you broke of mine. I thought it was your’s for the keeping, but you left it on a shelf as the Jonas Brothers would say, I suppose. You tore it to shreds, burned it, and danced on the ashes.
Fury.
That was the initial feeling. I wanted to tear through my room like a tornado, destroying everything in my path. I took my anger out on all your things obviously but it wasn’t enough then and I doubt it ever will be.
Pain.
The second feeling. My gut had wrenched into a multitude of knots and my heart had seemed to be stabbed with a silver stake. Nothing could make it better. Even if you had taken back what you said it wouldn’t make it better. You had already typed them…. Through text….
Worthlessness.
I never thought I could love again, let alone have someone love me. I felt as if I was a piece of trash in the middle of the road, being constantly run over and never to diminish into the earth.
Hysterical.
My thoughts were filled with many things such as “Hope he’s happy, because he’ll regret it” and “Haha haha, go burn in hell with your w***e”. Oh, and there was my laughter that made me sound as if I belong in a mental institution.
More Anger.
Seeing you with her, it was worse than the first time. More stabs in the heart followed but that made me want to go to you and punch you in the gut. Then kick you where the sun don’t shine and ground that part of you into the ground.
And Finally…. Regret.
For what I feel now, it’s been hard to admit… Well I haven’t said this to anyone but… It’s true I miss you, and I always will. But I miss the old you, not the new one that the monster created. She changed you and manipulated you into a form I thought I’d never see.
But I for one actually regrets all the bad things I said. I regret not being a better girlfriend and I regret freaking out over things I shouldn’t have. But I was right for fearing one thing and you know what that one thing was… So all I have to say is I'm sorry and look at the song that is still on here that I wrote you… Because everyone knows its true or at the very least will be…
So Love, what is it really? If it does truly exist then it is and always will be FAR beyond your, my and everyone’s comprehension.
