Chapter Thirty-Seven

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Things seem to finally have settled down completely. I've been going back to school for almost a month now and most of the people I encountered have stopped staring and strangers have stopped approaching me with questions I wouldn't rather answer. Frank's still my driver, and I don't want to think about how much I enjoy our car rides together. I sometimes wish the drive to school would be longer...

I quickly take a last glance in the bathroom's mirror to check if my ponytail looks alright.

For whom exactly? Yeah, I don't really want to think about that.

I grab my bag and walk through the school's hallways.

Why is it that I forcibly avoid thinking about particular feelings that have greatly intensified over the past weeks?

I enter the school's library to pick up a book I wanted to read about criminology. As I quietly move alongside the bookshelfs, in search of my book, I think to myself: Maybe I should think about why I'm avoiding to think about it.

I find my book and open it at a random page somewhere in the middle.

But then again, I could just drown myself into this book to avoid that also.


I talk to Vicky while we exit the school. I just ran into her. We've become close friends and I think she's great. We both went through the same experience and it was nice having someone around who truly understood that. Besides, we appreciates each other's support at school.

"So, I thought we could grab a movie tomorrow after school, and maybe something to eat?" Vicky waves with her hand. "You know, to celebrate. I was thinking pizza?"

I already look forward to it. "Sounds fun, but what are we celebrating though?"

Vicky chuckles and gives me a tap. "We're celebrating you're eighteenth birthday, weirdo."

Riiight.

I've thought about it in the beginning of the week, but now it's thursday, I just completely forgot about it.

A lot of things have lost significant importance after what happened. Birthdays and holidays aren't that special anymore. Instead, I feel like celebrating every day that has been a good day, no matter the occasion.

I'm not really turning into a young adult tomorrow: I grew up the day I realised how precious life is and how awfully painful it can be.


I spot Frank in the car in his usual spot. I turn to Vicky. "Pizza and a movie sounds just great. Can I pick you up at six?"

Vicky smiles. "You mean, can Frank pick us up at six?"

I shrug my shoulders. "That's what I meant."

"You know," Vicky points her finger at me and raises her eyebrows, "Frank probably has a life on his own he has to get back to on Friday night. Maybe he has a girlfriend."

I suppress the urge to immediately deny that, but to be honest, I don't know if he has a girlfriend or not. Dammit, I feel those annoying emotions emerge again. "I will ask him."

Vicky gives me a weird look and I awkwardly adjust my phrase. "I'll ask him if he's free tomorrow, not if he has a girlfriend." I give her a hug and say goodbye before she can make me feel even more embarrassed. She leaves with a smile.


I halt before I want to cross the busy street, to a parking area where Frank usually parks the car ten feet away from the entrance. It's rush hour and busy, so I always patiently wait until I can cross safely.

I can see Frank's silhouette sitting in the driver's seat from a distance.

He doesn't really have a girlfriend, right? He surely would've told me that by now. After all, we talk everyday.

I take a look at my phone to see if I got any messages.

Friends tell each other they have a relationship, that's just the way it is.

I look at my reflection on my phone's black screen.

Maybe he doesn't see me as a friend.

Maybe I'm still just 'the job'.

But can I really blame him for that?

Suddenly, I'm pulled back by my backpack and just as quickly pushed forward along the pavement.

"Hey!" I shout irated.

"Just keep walking."

I can't believe my ears until I see it with my eyes, still being led somewhere. "Lucas?!"


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