Wanting Her (1. Code of Silence)

4. Wait, you're not my shrink

"So as you said, what was your dream about?" She asks while crossing her legs with a pen and  notepad in her hand.

"My dream?" I respond with thought, "Not really a big deal actually."

She gave me a look but continued to write something in her notepad.

"That scribbling makes me uneasy, i don't get uneasy very often lady." I lean forward as if to intimidate her. She immediately  stops writing and laughs slightly. She looked unfazed by my stare. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and got up to walk around to her tiny desk.

A small simple notepad was handed to me, I give her an incredulously look. "This is for kids" I point out to her. "What the fuck am i supposed to do with this?"

She simply smiles at me and motions towards the pen sitting on the coffee next to me. I reluctantly picked up the pen. "Isn't that supposed to be your job." I smirk at her.

"Yes but you said it makes your feel uneasy, so the best way to overcome that is to simply do the uneasy task yourself."

How is it that she can say something so convincing that even I, Benji would try and indulge her. I frown at her words and nod slightly. "Okay, I'll play along."

I immediately start to scribble something in the pad with light strokes.

I show her the pad with a turn of my hand, it was a skilled fully drawn dick. Very mature Benji but come on, she was asking for a good one if you know what I mean.

"Benji, we start of somewhere then you don't give me the full story." Her head shakes, "I only want to help you but if I can't get the full picture then I'm of no use."

The notepad in my hand retreats into my lap.

I laugh, genuinely laugh."You're right, you're of no actual use to me but yet I come here for a reason. So it must mean you are helping me, in some little way love." I get up and dust my suit jacket. "Time seems to up so I'll see myself out." I place down the notepad that i was writing on for the past two minutes on the small coffee table.

She looked up at me from her seat, she make any move to get up. I smirked at her, "Good sesh Doc." I wave my hands out in front of me like a music conductor. I see her eyes waver to the notepad. The pad was roughly scribbled with harsh and soft strokes. It was a word, written in thick harsh cursive.

Benji.

I simply leave then and there.

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"Benji come home, we need you."

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When I was old enough to decide what I actually wanted to do, I wasn't sure what I exactly wanted to do but I knew more or less what I didn't want to do. The main career discriptor I absolutely needed was be my own main man.

I wanted to be the boss not work for the boss.

And as clear as it can be, I'm still working in that dream.

I discorvered many things about myself during my tortuous days at highschool. One being, i have to be in charge of my descions even if it get me killed and two being, I fucking hate being called Benjamin.

I never went to an actual university, I took online courses so I wouldn't have to walk any dreadful hallways and interact with lowly peers. The thought of waking up everyday to sit in a over crowded classroom which a bunch of young adults that just just barely passed puberty made me want to punch myself in the groin and then again for good measure.

As I started to grow and mature into this peaceful, caring man I am today... scratch that, the man I am today I also started to realize I've developed a few problems.

For one, I have a slight obsessive compulsive disorder and by that I mean I will have the sudden urge to stab someone who dares leaves loose ends.

And second, I'm a megalomaniac.

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