// Obsessed. //

// VOICES IN MY HEAD //2

Picture taken: "If I got rid of my demons, I'd lose my beautiful angel."

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I only lived about 20 minutes walking distance from Bambi's humble abode, so I enjoyed my little stroll before reaching my house; until those morbid memories fill my brain of all the things that happened there.

I peered around the place I wish I could call home, taking note of all the different types of bottles that flood the floor while smoke consumes every last inch of fresh air. Nothing's changed. It almost seems as if the screaming has intensified over the years, whether my father was awake or not. He's always had this overwhelming power to instill terror. At least that's what my mother always said.

Speak of the devil.

My father was laying lateral on the couch, gargling in his slumber, deep snores managing to pass through his dirty lungs. Oh how I wish he'd choke on his own spit and drown in his pitiful sorrows...
Knowing I wouldn't ever be that lucky, I ignored the filth that slept on the sofa and crept up to my room, making sure to deadbolt the door behind me.

I reminisced my beautiful princess' house; how pristine every nook and cranny was.

She didn't have bottles on the floor.

She didn't have secondhand smoke spread through the rooms.

She didn't have sloppy drunks laying on her white couches.

The voices clouded my head and started talking all at once; the shouting, the pain, the filth of my own father, all of it was starting to make my mind dizzy. Once again, I drifted into that dark void also known as my subconscious.

Anger.

That's all I felt seeping through my bones from my head to my toes. I tried tugging and ripping at my hair to make it stop, but the words were stained in my mind; no matter how hard I tried suppressing them back into the depths where they belong.

"She isn't worth shit boy, move the fuck on."

"Oh no, you must've heard wrong, YOU'RE not worth shit boy."

"You're gonna hurt her just like your father."

"Don't you just want to run your fingers through her soft hair? And then pull it with your fist until she screams in agony,"

More and more words flowed through my brain, getting much viler and more sadistic then the last. I couldn't take it anymore, with every terrifying thought that passed, my heartbeat grew rapid eventually making me lose my balance. Not being able to catch myself, I crashed to my knees on the floor, my head stuffed in my hands. Tears started pouring out of my eyes as I tried shutting this thing up, but like every other time it doesn't let me. I pushed my body completely onto the floor, tears streaming down my face and words filling up my brain.

Resting my head on the cold ground I allowed the voices to continue, not being able to control them any longer.

Like every other time, I give in, realizing the truth in every venom touched word that entered my body. Grasping to any reality I had left, I ended up choosing the voices; which suddenly turned into soft whispers, letting me know what has to be done.

"Take her boy, she's yours, she always has been yours. Grab her when she's not looking, take her by surprise,"

I shuttered at the thought of taking her, but for some reason I keep finding myself asking, how?

"Grab her when no ones looking, steal her from her pain and cause your own. Make her love you, make her NEED you. She has no choice. Haven't you thought about how alone you feel? With her bound and gagged by your side, we'll never be alone."

The harsher the words were, the softer the voices spoke, engraving every single sentence in my skull for me to remember forever.

And now, I know what I have to do. 

//Authors comments//

Hmmmm it's getting a little crazy now, can you tell where he gets it from ?

Question of the chapter: Do you think it's his fault he's this way ?

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