Creating a color solely for myself [~ Pt.Six~]

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by Galaxy_FanFan88

Dedicated to bigbang42

by Galaxy_FanFan88

I sometimes have a thought where I “don’t want to become an adult”. I’m not saying that I want to return to the days when I was a child or because I want to whine like one, but I don’t want to stay in the moment forever. I want to keep creating my own music and have impressive performances. I want to be remembered as a person with lively passion. I will work my hardest as a member of BIGBANG and to enrich my life. Though it’s rare but I also want to become the musician that both the general public and the audience love.

My passion of wanting to use my own way to reveal myself increases every day, but it makes me uncomfortable when some people start talking about having the same expectations for those “who makes music” and “a celebrity”.

A stage is the best place for a singer to perform and the screen is the best for a celebrity. What they want to present to the audience is a “good and perfect” scene they envisioned in their minds. When situations occur unexpectedly and I have to do something that I don’t know how, I get shy and scared simply because I don’t know what to do. I don’t wish to be seen as a frivolous idol or losing my identity due to certain circumstances. In Uhm Jung Hwa’s ‘DISCO’, the rap

encompasses what I think: “At certain times, I lose my identity after being led…where is the smooth life…”

In 2008, I was featured in Gummy noona’s song, ‘I’m Sorry’ and acted in the MV. Every time I performed, I did my best and showed different sides of myself because I believed that “since I was a celebrity and a singer”, it was what I had to do.

If you use my reasoning and listen to the raps I wrote during these few years, you will notice that my music color has changed a bit. I also had “a process where I created my voice” and I’m still in that process. I want to create different feelings to show people what T.O.P’s voice is. My voice can sometimes be softer or louder. Every time there’s a new song, I have to spend a long time figuring out what my voice will be like to adapt to the lyrics.