Trying Not To Be Beautiful (ON HOLD)

Trying Not To Be Beautiful- Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Wishing I Could Be Somewhere Like Narnia Or Oz.

“With every step of our lives we enter into the middle of some story which we are certain to misunderstand.” G.K Chesterton

Even standing here, kneading bread I dreamed. I dreamed of being somewhere else, doing something else. Wanting to be someone else. The constant folding and spreading of the bread was in a rhythmic pace. It was the same every time, the pace never changed, the person never changed and the dreams never changed. My sister singing quietly in the background; the hum of the ovens, the laugh of my brother and the kind words of my dad. All noises I knew so well. The bakery was in full business today everyone was coming and wanting fresh breads, cakes or deserts. We were making as many loafs as possible, and going as fast as possible.

Shaping the bread dough before placing it on the tray, I call out to my little brother, “ Another tray ready for the oven!” After a few seconds he comes and collects it and leaves again. My little brother had really stepped up this year, before he was considered to little to do anything. And then on his birthday this year he insisted that we let him help us. We didn't want him too, we didn't want to have him slave away for hours everyday like the rest of us. But he kept insisting until we no longer fought against him.

Knowing it was only a hour until I got to leave the bakery was the best feeling ever. I loved it when the bakery closed and I could go off to the woods and wonder and dream. For now the baking and making of bread was done, and I would go out to the front and serve behind the counter with my dad. Me and my dad were close, but never really spoke much. We could tell how each other was feeling or what they were thinking by just looking at each other. We were people of few words, something that I had gotten from him. We would smile at each other and interact but didn't find the need to talk. And when we did talk it was only brief words or comforting words.

Though all my brothers and sisters could talk for hours. Something I was thankful for really. It meant I didn't have to speak very much. I was laid back and they were out going. I was like my dad in personality and they were like my mum. Though I looked like my mum. But she was beautiful and I wasn't. My sister was beautiful too. When you look at her you see my mother, she is the spit of her when she was younger. And my brothers looked like both my mum and dad.

To be honest I was the odd one out in the family. While they were out going and friendly, I was laid back and preferred being on my own. They were all loud and fussy, and I was quiet and happy to go along with whatever was happening. When they were hanging out with friends or playing sport I would have my nose in a book, or my head In the clouds. I didn't fit in with any of them really, but we all got along and lived side by side quite happily. We all had time for each other and cared for each other, though I was the one who mainly looked after them.

At school I was the quiet and kept to herself kind of girl. I didn't feel the need to surround myself with friends. Though I had a few, but nobody close. My sister was always making me hang out with her and her friends so that I wouldn't spend all my time alone, no matter how many times I protested. My sister had a big heart, always looking to help or make sure your okay. She was there whenever you needed her. She never fought with me, she was the one who supported me. My brothers were a handful, always arguing or fighting. Never where they were supposed to be, never home on time. And always energetic. Never calm or reassuring. My older brother was the one who was level headed and patient and always knew what to do when something happened. But he was hardly ever around because of his job at the great house. I was the dreamer. The one who always believed something good could happen at the worst of times. Growing up with fairy stories in my head, and never growing out of them. Being told to grow up and face reality, being told to stop with the fairy tales. To stop living in some kind of fantasy world. To keep my nose out of books. And always finding herself in trouble.