Twisted Version of Hansel and Gretel

We all know the story of Hansel and Gretel. There are two kids who go into the forest, when they are told not to. Blah blah blah, they end upon getting lost. They find a house made of candy (of course they start eating the house (what kid would refuse a house of candy.)) Yada yada yada, the witch pokes her head out wondering who’s nibbling on her house of course she knew it was either one kid or multiple kids nibbling on her home. She sees Hansel and Gretel whatever you know the rest they go in she wants to eat them but they kill her.

But what they didn’t know is that she had a daughter, she saw every part of what happened even when they killed her mother. From that day on she swore that one day she would get revenge on Hansel and Gretel.

   THIS IS HOW THE STORY GOES. Deep in the forest there lived a witch; she was the daughter of the witch that Hansel and Gretel killed. Her name is Vixen. Just like her mom she loved baking pies out of young children. She baked apple Anna pie, blue berry Bob pie and peach Polly cobbler pie. But out of the kids she had eaten she really wanted to eat young Hansel and Gretel. As you know they killed her mom when she was younger.

    One day Hansel and Gretel’s father remarried for the 2nd time. He married a lovely women, the only thing was she had a son named Joey. Now you would think Hansel and Gretel remember the witch…they don’t. Hansel and Gretel’s new step mom son hated them so much! He hated having to share his mom with Hansel and Gretel. Joey thought of many ways to get rid of them. He tried getting them malled by a bear ( putting honey and fishes on them), he put a whole lot of glass on their beds so it could poke through their skin a bleed to death, lastly he tried giving them food that a raccoon ate. But every time he tried he failed.

       UNTIL ONE DAY, he heard of an evil witch who lived the forest that ate little children. Hearing this made Hansel and Gretel stepbrother think of a nasty and evil plan. So one day he told Hansel and gretel that their father sent them out for wood DEEP IN THE FOREST! As they went deeper and deeper Hansel and Gretel have no idea about were they are. “Ahhhhh my hands they are so full of wood, I’m goanna go back and drop off some wood and come back.” Said Joey. “Okay we’ll come with you” Hansel and Gretel. “No!, I mean its find you continue on” said Joey. Fine? But come back soon its getting dark” they said.

    THEY COUNTINUED ON IN TO THE FOREST, as they walked they

wondered where their brother was. When they finally stop they couldn’t find were to go. They were surrounded by darkness and trees, “Hansel I’m scared were are we to go, were lost” ‘I don’t know Gretel, I don’t know.” They continued down and went deeper and deeper in to the forest. Soon they came upon a house, and joyous house made of glorious candy and treats. (Now what kid do you know will not start to eat the house?)

       THEY DROPED EVERTHING AND RAN TOWARD THE HOUSE, “WHOSE THAT NIBBBLEING ON MY HOUSE” SAID THE WITCH. “Its us Hansel and Gretel” they said. She was so happy (on the inside). “Awww you poor children you must be starving, I’m Vixen” she said. They came inside and saw the most wonderful table of food. She called them inside and said” you kindling’s can help yourselves to what’s on the table, I made apple pie, candy apples, dark and white chocolate cake.” “Yeahhhhhhhh” they said. They ate plate full’s of the joyous food and they went pack for more until they were fat as pigs maybe cows. She showed them were they would be sleeping for the night, (she eats them) go home.

    Later that night Vixen went down stairs and went into her pie book and found the pie she has been waiting to make for years to come. “Double Fudge Hansel and Gretel PIE!” The next morning she made breakfast to feed a whole city. Hansel and Gretel were astonished by the feast. Vixen made pancakes dipped in chocolate, blueberry pancakes, bacon, and waffles, everything a kid always imagined. They stuffed and stuffed their faces till they were filled.  After that she told them to go to the play room (a cage) to play until lunch was ready. She made the biggest pie pan she ever made to eat children. She called out Hansel and grabbed him and chained him up, he was too big and heavy so he had no where to run. Next she grabbed Gretel and chained her up along with her brother.

    She stabbed Hansel in his arm and said” this is for my mother” While Hansel was being peeled Gretel shrieked and screamed for her life as well as her brothers. She watched in horror as her brother died. Next vixen moved on to poor sweet Gretel. “Now it’s your turn” she sang a song to herself that only Gretel could hear. “Poor sweet Gretel is goanna die today, yes she is yes she is, poor sweet Gretel is goanna bleed to today, tooooday, little sweet Gretel is goanna be eaten to day eaten today, eaten today, she and her brother are goanna be baked into a pie today, OMGGGGG.” THEN SHE SAID” THIS IS FOR KILLING MY MOTHER.”

    SHE CHOPPED UP HANSEL AND GRERTEL INTO LITTLE PIECES SO THEY FIT INTO THE PIE PAN. THEN SHE BAKED THEM FOR 30MIN IN A 350 DEGREE OVEN. THEN DRIZZELD HOT FUDGE OVER THE TOP AND BAKED A GAIN FOR 10MIN. AFTR ALL THAT WAS DONE SHE GOT WIPPED CREAM AND POURED IT ON TOP AND ATE HER YUMMY PIE.