i know why the caged bird sings

It was almost funny who people stumble across each other when they least expect it. How they end up saving each other's lives when they don't want it. It's ironic even, how much she is afraid of falling, and yet she does.

She never thought she'd be the one to actually do it. Instead she went to her place every single night, letting her feet dangle off the ledge and puffing her money away. Everything was dark, the only light coming from the stars above and the cigarette in between her fingers. In between her lips, her teeth. The smoke curling, dispersing and freeing itself into the vast darkness that surrounded her. The darkness that she wished she could be apart of. She spent her life trying to make people afraid. Tattooing her body, shaving parts of her head, piercing her lip. People tended to avoid her, the circle around her growing larger, until she was the only on in it. Everyone else avoided the lines like poison. She was alone. A brown eyed girl without someone to sing with. A brown eyed girl without someone to call her "theirs". Without someone who cared.

And so, every night she felt the familiar cool metal of the rusty fire escape, scrape her hand as she pulled it down. Every night she felt as it swung unstably beneath her, as her feet found each ring and she was climbing, up, up, up. To the stars, where she thought she belonged.

Someone once told her that the stars were everyone who died, watching over their loved ones, watching over her. How peaceful it would be to be a star. She wished for the weight clasped around her heart to be lifted, for her to no longer be the freak who smoked her life away. She didn't know what she wanted, and she didn't know if death was the answer to her pleads.

So instead of jumping off the roof of that building, she sat there with her feet dangling over the edge, smoking a pack of cigarettes and flicking the butts over the side. This was how she entertained herself for hours upon end. The bags under her eyes were unending, but she was never tired. She liked the night. Day was harsh, unforgiving, just as the people who occupied it.

So she welcomed the feeling of being alone. She embraced with open arms, and kissed it with each breath of smoke. She inhaled deeply, breathing in the crisp air. The night cooled, but she wasn't bothered, she welcomed the cold. Something about the pain of not having, made everything seem worth it. The cold made her feel more alive.

When the fire escape groaned in displeasure under something, someone's, weight, she made no move to change. She simply placed the cigarette to her lips and drew in a deep breath, watching the smoke curl into the night. Even when the presence of the invader sat next to her, she did not break. She did not even look over. She just kept exhaling smoke, and watching it vanish into the stars. The figure next to her said nothing to her, not speaking, not even caring it seemed. They weren't even touching. They just sat there together, both overly aware of each other's movements. Of each other's breaths. Each inhale and exhale was memorized carefully by the other person.

When the sun was peaking over the horizon, the presence next to her, moved. They moved slowly, their footsteps, echoing over the quiet roof top. She didn't move, only listening to the figures retreating movements. The fire escape creaked, and once again loneliness embraced her. And for some reason, when the thought of the person not coming back danced across her mind, she was sad. Then, when the whole sun was gazed at her, she too left the roof.

When she returned to the roof, the girl was already seated. A fleeting thought crossed her mind, how much the setting sun's rays danced across her red hair. It was down, shifting softly as the wind played with it. She almost asked for her name, but paused. No, this was too early for speaking, for now she would just be Rose. She deemed it suiting for the girl, someone so delicate, so beautiful, sitting where one wrong movement could kill her. Rose didn't speak to her as she sat down beside her.