Erase Me

XI

Charlie stayed at my house for a few days and I cared for him along with Devi who watched over him during the day while I was at school. He was sitting upright on the couch but still wasn’t walking.

“You can go to the room tonight if you want,” he said to me as I took his empty bowl of soup from him.

“Are you sure? You’ll just be here by yourself. I really don’t mind not going tonight.” In truth, I really wanted to go. I had something—a plan you might call it—that I wanted to set in motion and the sooner the better. But I had all the time in the world and Charlie was more important.

I sat beside him on the couch and put my head on his chest. “I really don’t mind staying with you,” I told him.

“No, I want you to go. I’ve seen you with your notebook for the past few days. You need to share your songs with them.”

“Or I could share them with you,” I suggested. “And besides, who else will do the drums for me. I need a beat to play.”

“Devi will do it.”

I moped. “She won’t do it as good as you do it.”

“Aria, it’s fine, really.”

I thought about it. “All right, I’ll go. Just don’t leave before I get back.”

We laughed together. I looked up at him and his mouth came down on mine. I left him there, grabbed my guitar and notebook from my room, and headed out the door.

I arrived at the room. “Hey, Aria, did you write any new songs lately?” I heard the second they saw me.

Out of habit, I was about to pull by notebook from my sweatshirt but then I stopped myself. I smiled. “Actually, I thought we could do something a little different. What if we all wrote a song together? What if we all wrote one big song with a lot of passion and intensity and as much emotion as possible?”

“What would it be about?” someone queried.

I was looking at Idris as I said this. “It should be something that gets people going and makes them enjoy it.”

That was when everyone started freaking out. They glared at me weirdly, like I had gone mad. Honestly . . . I pretty much did lose it.

Then everyone fell silent and looked at Devi who was the oldest and the wisest. She stood, cleared her throat, and led me out into the pathway. I heard everyone break into confused mutters back in the room. Then Idris’s voice rang out above the rest as he tried to explain the situation.

I looked at Devi who flattened her hand to form a blade and drew it across her neck. “The government will execute you for this.”

I nodded. “Yes, I know.”

She was taken aback by my carelessness. Her lips formed the words: “Do you want to die?”

“If it means the country gets to enjoy music again then yes I do,” I replied proudly. “It is selfish that we keep the gift of music to ourselves.”

Devi fiercely drummed out her next argument. “Not if it means keeping yourself alive.” Then the beat she made slowed down and became sorrowful. “If you cause a revolt then more people will die.” Then she mouthed out: “And what about Charlie?”

“I know how much it would hurt him if I died,” I admitted somberly. I shook my head as anger rose in my throat. “But he would understand that I am doing this for him. He shouldn’t have to suffer the way he does because he broke an unfair law. You see him every day. You cannot deny that he’s in pain.” I paused. My voice quieted to a whisper. “I just want to protect him.”

Idris appeared at the mouth where the room and the pathway met. He wore a proud smile as he delivered the news. “I think that I’ve convinced them. I think they all want to do it.”