Xxwattypad4lifexX Don't be a cinnamon bitch :)
I was born on January 9th 1900. I may sound old but I'm still really sexy. I know this because the voices in my head that tell me to set fires say that it's because I'm the hottest bitch alive. This much hotness cannot be contained in one body so it must be used in a productive way to set peoples houses and dogs on fire.
Sometimes people say that I'm crazy but that doesn't last long. They seem quite quiet at their funerals. I wonder why...
Now on to life in the asylum. You see when I was first put in there I was a young transvestite on the age of 14. They had very bad security so they all died. That is why the straightjacket was invented. My mother is so proud that I have furthered the field of keeping crazies locked up. Or at least that's what she says when I have her locked up in the closet.
Since I have been in the asylum the longest I have the prettiest straightjacket. I got it for my 50th birthday. It's all pink and sparkly and I fall asleep to the sounds of people screaming in pain. No that's a joke. I've been listening to whale sounds. Whales being tortured. =)
Then I went to Transilvania for a while. I actually went there because I thought it would be filled with transvestites like me. Unfortunately there were only vampires who turned me into one of their own. Unfortunately they frown on crossdressers so I was kicked out of the vampire colony.
Now I am on a mission to destroy Canada. Honestly, I hate Canadian feet. They just look so weird. I mean Australian feet turn me on but those damn Canadians just ruin feet for me. Beware you dirty Canadians! You shall die a painful death where I shall suck the blood from your feet then torch you like a little lamb. Mwahaha! Stay sexy you Australian feet or you're next!
