The Girl Who Speaks With Algebra

10: Opening Up

I got proactive. I texted Seiko. 'I'm back. Had you planned dinner, or should I have my Thanksgiving leftovers instead?'

Seiko sent back, 'If you have leftovers, go ahead.'

I considered the implications of eating before she got here. I sent, 'I'd rather eat/chat with you. If you're okay with that. If not, it's fine too.' I forced my fingers to stop typing more words.

After a pause, I got: 'I should be there in under an hour.'

I sent, 'I'll wait.'

Then, in a fit of sudden confidence, I texted Paige. 'Thanks for the notes. I'm back on campus, how about you?'

She responded pretty quickly. 'Yup. Enjoy your time away?'

'It went well for me,' I said. 'Yourself?'

This response seemed to take longer. 'Family stuff happened.'

That felt bad, for some reason. 'Want to talk about it?'

Another pause. 'Not in text. It's fine.'

I went in for the kill. 'Can we maybe talk after class tomorrow?'

After the longest ten seconds of my life: 'I'd like that.'

As is typical, I then went one bridge too far. 'Will your boyfriend be joining us?'

I stared at that message, wondering how on Earth I could have hit send. Too late – I couldn't take it back now. This time, it took more than ten seconds for a response. In fact, we were at the point where I'd started fumbling for my stress ball in my luggage.

'I don't have a boyfriend, Rose,' Paige messaged. 'I sometimes say I do, to avoid questions. I'm not sure who you've been talking to.'

I stared at that message, wondering what the appropriate response would be. After all, I hadn't been talking to anyone; I'd merely seen her fawning over that guy the previous Thursday. Should I say I saw that? My hesitation must have lasted too long, because before I could get my thoughts in order, another message came in from Paige.

'I don't have a girlfriend either.'

My breath caught in my throat. Was that an invitation? The six most amazing words, when they got strung together like that.

Followed three seconds later with 'j/k'.

Now my thumbs mashed my phone without hesitation. 'Don't joke that, Paige. Please don't, not that.'

Another pause. 'I've been burned before.'

'Give me names! I will fight them for you, my lady!'

Pause. 'You're silly.'

Uhhh... good silly? Dumb silly? See, this is why I'm more hesitant to text; it's very hard to get a read on where you're both at in a conversation. Also, I know I can sound irritated instead of witty, if I don't have my voice to put the emPHAsis on the proper sylLABles. Which is simply awkward when done in caps like that.

As I fretted, Paige sent again: 'Looking forward to talking tomorrow. Okay?'

'Okay. I love your perfume.'

Rose, you need to stop using words. Paige sent me a little smile emoji though, so having somehow pulled that one out of the fire, I shut off my phone before I was tempted to reply with something even stupider.

I possibly would have a girlfriend. And I was maybe figuring out how to text without sounding like a rambling passive-aggressive. I briefly debated updating all my statuses on the various social media accounts that I never used. But, you know, baby steps. Also, I had no plans to come out to the whole world just yet.