It's Only Temporary [Josh Ramsay One-Shot]

*October 11th*

Knock, knock, knock.

Groaning, I rolled out of bed. I felt as though I hadn't gotten any sleep, even though the clock read 1:36 PM. Trudging over to the floor length mirror in my room, I wasn't surprised at what I saw. Staring back at me was a mess of the woman I once was. My once bright forest green eyes were now bloodshot and dull looking, as if the light had been sucked out of them, which it had. Usually, my fiery red hair was long and wavy, gleaming in any light. Currently, it was a mess sitting almost atop my head. The unbearable pain in my heart from the night before had subsided to a painful pricking. I had a feeling that it would never go away.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

The knocking at my, our, apartment door, started to get more persistent. Although I figured it wouldn't be ours for much longer. Sighing, I made my way to the door. Normally, him being at the door would have me running to the bathroom to freshen myself up. But seeing as he didn't look much better, I didn't move. The sight of him did, though, trigger the painful, erratic beating of my heart.

"Hey." he whispered.

I nodded in acknowledgment, not trusting my voice.

"Renn, I-" he started, but I silenced him by raising my hand.

"Don't. Just please, don't." My voice broke near the end.

He nodded his head. Why did it always end like this for us? Why couldn't we just be one of those abnormally happy, head-over-heels in love couples? Memories of last month rushed into my head.

*Flashback*

"Fuck you Josh! I don't even know why I'm even with you! You're hopeless! No matter how hard I try, you always do this!"

"Do what, huh? Get drunk? Every fucking person in this world drinks Renn! Suck it up and get off my fucking back!"

"Yeah but no one else gets so hopelessly drunk like you do! Can't you be sober for just once in your fucking life? Or is life just a joke to you? I was hoping to have a nice, relaxing night with my fucking boyfriend, but he fucking comes home wasted!"

"Boyfriend? Are you sure? 'Cause you sure don't treat me like one. All you do is yell at me like some fucking bitch! Just let me live my goddamn life!"

"You know what! Fine. Go live your goddamn life. Just get out of my house, I can't stand the sight of you!"

He made his way out the door, and slammed it shut behind him. I slid down the wall I was currently leaning on, shutting my eyes and letting the unshed tears out. Lately this was all Josh and I had been doing. Fighting over the stupidest of things. My heart clenched painfully in my chest, as sobs raked my body.

*End Flashback*

Yeah, we most certainly weren't a normal couple.

This was the first time we'd seen each other since that last fight. Mike had told he was staying with Matt.

"I-I think I should move out. We need some time apart." He said softly.

"So are we breaking up?" I asked him, my voice sounding broken, barely above a whisper.

"Do you want us to break up?" The look in his eyes was smoldering, and I found myself getting lost in those grey/blue eyes I had so quickly fallen in love with.

"I don't know." I whispered, shoulders slumping. It wasn't until I felt his thumb wipe away a tear from my cheek that I realized that I was crying, my body trembling. I almost leaned into the amazing touch of his fingers, calloused from years of playing guitar. Pulling away, I took deep, shuddering breaths to calm myself down. I felt so absolutely shattered inside. I had long ago established that I could never live my life without Josh Ramsay, but had recently discovered that I couldn't live with him in my life either. It was frustrating as hell.