More Than This

3 -Matt

Song of the chapter - When Doves Cry by Prince

The doors to the quad were up ahead, glaring at me as if they knew what I had just done. Mocking me. Laughing at me as I walked away from her. My reflection stared back at me, wearing a look that everyone else would think showed strength, but I knew the truth.

I don't know what I was thinking. I guess it was blind rage or something. It didn't feel like rage, though, but what other explanation is there for what I did? I spent the whole weekend with Courtney completely pissed off at Amber over how she just refused to let me into her room and then ordered me to leave.

Ordered me.

No one fucking ordered me to do anything. Something had come over her. I knew it the second I opened my eyes a week and a half ago from that asswipe's left hook that something was different. She was different, ever since Scar stepped between her and I, interfering. That guy had been on my radar from the first second I saw him walking down the hallway, day one. His effing hood up, trying to look like a badass. I should have shown him earlier who the real badass was. But I didn't.  And all this week with Amber, it had only gotten worse. No matter how hard I had tried, she was not the same Amber I asked out months ago. She didn't look at me the same. She didn't kiss me the same. She didn't want me anymore.

She never told me what he said to her when I was out cold.  He was stronger than he looked, that little shit. I figured I would be the one knocking him out, not the other way around. Whatever, what's done is done now. I can't go back and change it, even if I wanted to. All weekend she had frozen me out. All weekend she had brushed off any attempt I made to see her, talk to her, build that fire back up. It was almost as if she had no intention of letting me try ever again.

Courtney kept me plenty distracted all weekend. She was more than happy to let me back into her room when I showed up after my confrontation with Amber. Courtney's parents were away for the weekend so there would be no interruptions. She  just thought I had changed my mind, glad about it. Amber had changed my mind with her dismissal.

Not once in the three months that we had dated did she refuse me, other than sex. I mean, part of me actually respected her for that, wanting to wait until she was more sure of us. But now part of me wondered if she said no because she was already sure. Already sure that we would never happen. Sure that I was not the one. I should've been happy that she wasn't trying to get the "forever" claws in me already, I was only eighteen after all. I had plenty to see and do before I needed to think about tying myself to someone else.

The truth was, I could see myself with her for the long haul. I knew I didn't treat her that way, yet. I was trying, damn it. I didn't think she realized just how hard I was trying.

So yeah, other than the bedroom, Amber never said no. She never disagreed with anything I wanted. Never told me off after ignoring her texts. Nothing. Until Friday night at her window, when she locked me out and told me to go home. I still couldn't believe it.

What did she expect me to do? Beg? That wasn't my style. I was better than that, even though a small part of me almost did it. I almost begged her to open that window. Instead I had so much frustration that I hid at Courtney's all weekend. That's what it was, hiding. Courtney couldn't have been happier about that. I think she figured I would dump Amber and start seeing her. However, that wasn't the plan. I just needed a distraction until Amber was ready to see me. Luckily, with Courtney's parents being gone, I had a perfect retreat. I even convinced her to host a party the next night.

It didn't take much convincing. She was all for it the second the idea passed my lips. She called her girls, and I called the crew. We got a shit-load of beer and turned up the music. Courtney gave me a freaking amazing lap dance, that led elsewhere later on, and only one of those damn pricks even mentioned Amber: Pete.