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hindi monologues

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E lo kar lo baat. Are aisi angrezi ave hain ke I can leave angrez 

behind. I can talk english, I can walk english, I can laugh english, 

because english is a funny language. Bhairon becomes barren and 

barren becomes Bhairon because their minds are very narrow. In the 

year 1929 when India was playing Australia at the melbourne stadium 

Vijay Hazare and Vijay Merchant were at the crease. Vijay Merchant 

told Vijay Hazare. look Vijay Hazare, this is a very prestigious 

match and we must consider it very prestigiously. We must take this 

into consideration, the consideration that this is an important match 

and ultimately this consideration must end in a run. 

Ranjeet: O.K., O.K. 

Amitabh: In the year 1979 when Pakistan was playing against India at the 

Wankhade stadium Wasim Raja and Wasim Bari were at the crease and 

they took the same consideration. Wasim Raja told Wasim Bari, look 

Wasim Bari, we must consider this consideration and considering that 

this is an important match we must put this consideration into action 

and ultimately score a run. And both of them considered the 

consideration and ran and both of them got out.

 

Mai: Hey Ram! Bakhat se pehle hi khushiyaan!

Arjan: Chaon dena ped ka dharma hota hai. Hum toh sirf itna jaan-na chahit hain ki aakhir bhookhe pet kab tak unki malaalein gaadhe? Kab tak unki kodaamein bharen?

Bhuvan: Mukhiya ji! Chahe dahine haath par dharo chahe baayen haath par... lagaan toh humka dehi ke padi. Hum toh kehit hain ke sab jane milke rajmahal chalo aur Rajaji se baat karo. Ee baadal unse chupe nahi hain. Unse kaho ki ee saal hum lagaan nahi de payenge. Ekho daana bhi nahi.

Bhuvan: Toh phir saari alag-alag ungliyan ki muthi ban jaaye Mukhiya ji. 

Mukhiya: Matlab tum ladoge? 

Bhuvan: Agar jaroorat padi toh woh bhi.

Mukhiya: Tohar khopadi ghoom gayi hai. Rajaji ke saath gustaakhi karoge toh khud toh dooboge hum sab ka bhi laike dooboge. 

Bhuvan: Abhai kaunsi zindagi sukh bhog rahi hai. Doobe nahi hain ka? 

Mukhiya: Jo bhi ho... lekin hum poore gaaon par dhool nahi udhne denge.

Out! (Umpire raises finger pointing towards the sky.) 

Bhura: Baadal aa gaye ka?

Rajaji: Yeh ladka toh waise bhi naadaan hai. 

Capt Russel: Itna bhi naadaan nahi hai.

Capt Russel: Lekin yeh mumkin hai. Bataata hai. Theek hai hum lagaan maaf karega. Lekin ek shart hai. 

Mukhiya: Sharat? Ka sharat hai? 

Capt Russel (to Bhuvan): Tum... idhar aao. Kya kaha tha tumne hamare khel ke baare mein? What did he say? Sadiyal. Bhadda sa khel hai. Tum is khel ke baare mein kya jaante ho? 

Bhuvan: Bachpan se khelat aa rahein hai. Hum ika gilli danda kehte hain aur aap na jaane kaa. 

Capt Russel: Cricket! Toh tumhara yeh kehna hai ki yeh cricket tum khel sakte ho. 

Bhuvan: Haan. Aasaan hai. 

Capt Russel: Theek hai. Toh main lagaan maaf kar deta hoon. Lekin tumhe is khel mein humein haraana hoga. Shart yeh hai ki tum humko is khel mein harao aur hum tumhara lagaan maaf kar dega. 

(Rajaji laughs in bakground.) 

I am serious. You beat us in this game and I'll cancel your tax. 

Lekin kahin tum haar gaya toh tum humko triple tax yaani tin guna lagaan dega. Theek hai. Bolo sharat manzoor hai? 

Team member: Sir I think the cat has caught his toungue. 

Capt Russel: Quiet. Theek hai hum shart badhata hai. Tum humko is khel mein haraoge toh tumhare is saal ka toh kya hum agle saal ka bhi laagaan maaf kar dega. Hai manzoor? 

Villagers: Bhuvan kuch mat kehna! Chup rehna! Kuch mat bolna! 

Capt Russel: Theek hai. Hum sharat aur badhata hai. Sirf ek saal ka hi nahi agle do saal ka lagaan maaf kar dega. Yaani teen saal. Sirf tumhare hi nahi saare praant ka. Ab manzoor hai? 

Villagers: Humka phasaane ki khatir gaddha khod raha hai! 

Capt Russel: Tum bolo. Dugna lagaan doge ki sharat manzoor hai? 

(Long pause.) 

Bhuvan: Sharat manzoor hai.

Mukhiya: Hum toh pehle kehit rahen kaunhu badi bipda aa sakat hai. Nahi kehit rahen Bhuvan? 

Bhuvan: Aur kaunhu chaara tha? Main poochon tha kaunhu chaara? Ka kar sakte the hum? Dugna lagaan jabardasti nahi hai? Bhare ki taakat hai? Bataiye? Bhar sake hai koi? Ee bipda nahi hai Mukhiya ji hai mauka. Hum sirf jos ma haan nahi kiye hain. Choolhe se roti ko nikaalne ke liye chimpte ko apna mooh jalaaike padi. Maanat hai. Maanat hai ki hamar palda halka hai. Par ee maa umeed toh hai. Aur yehi umeed ka hum sacchayi maa badhalna chahit hain. Ee khel hai hamare khet khaliyan ke liye. Bhool gaye agar jeete toh teen saal sukhi rahenge. Teen saal! Zara socho! Teen saal kaunhu lagaan nahi. Jaane ho eeka matlab? Matlab hamaar anaaj hamra apna hoga. Kisiko daana nahi dena padega. Ee ma hamre bachon humri humaare gaaon ki khushaali hogi. Humra paseena hamare tan mein khoon ban ke daudega.

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