Soda, Bullets and Mary Sue's. (Supernatural fanfiction)

Reality challenged

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL!

“You’re sure this is the right door?” Sam asked Dean as they waited outside an abandoned motel room door in the middle of nowhere during the night. It was almost two in the morning since they rang, Castiel had left when the girl, Jennifer, had suggested that they find the exact numbers of the ‘Mary-Sue’s’ that were present. She then suggested that they find some lone empty building and wait there.

“The chick on the phone said to find any building away from public view and wait there.” Dean replied gruffly as he continued to sit on the hood of the Impala. “She also said something about there being a big time distance between here and ‘there’.” He added air quotes around the last word as he rolled his eyes. “Honestly though, I think this is a big crock of shit. I say we just-” The door to empty motel room opened at that point, as if knowing when to open in order to shut Dean up. A dull light shined in the widening cracks as voices started to creep out.

Sam and Dean drew their guns and had them lowered to the ground as the door opened fully and a slightly darkened figure stepped out and suddenly became illuminated in the headlights of the Impala. At first the brothers were a little confused when a mid height college age student became visible and showed off his average features. Average light brown hair that went down to his ears, normal plain black glasses, mildly chubby and dressed in a brown hoodie and jeans, for all intensive purposes he was just an average college student. The large backpack he carried had a camouflage pattern which had an obvious long gun scarab attached to the side.

“Um, hi, I’m Nathan.” The college student, Nathan, said with a mild smile and hand wave. He then turned around and nodded towards the door behind him. “See ya later Jenny.” Another person waved their arm in the closing gap of light before the door shut closed.

The Winchesters shared a look as they tried to guess what to do next. “You’re the ‘Mary-Sue killer’ they sent?” Dean asked, his voice not showing the mild uneasiness that belonged there.

Nathan shrugged and held up his hands, causing the brothers to finger their triggers a little more tightly as they raised their arms. “If I answer yes, do I get shot repeatedly?” he asked in a bored monotone of a voice. Sam rolled his eyes as he looked at his brother.

“That depends on what you have to say?” Dean replied with an equally emotionless tone.

Nathan sighed and put his hands down to his sides. “Let me guess your problem, there is some girl, or girls, that claim to be hunters. Or half humans, half angels, half demons, half princess of the motherfucking lollipop guild, has an overly long name with multiple nicknames. Impossibly large tracts of land attached to an impossibly thin body, long wavy unnatural bright or dark hair color with neon colored highlights. Says a whole lot of shit about being badass or whines constantly, has little to no actually personality but finds herself attractive to everyone. Is utterly useless, claims to be a relative to someone you know but was never mentioned. Seems to be attracted to one or both of you, randomly says words from of different languages that mean entirely different things. Wears clothing that-”

“Alright alright, we believe you.” Dean exclaimed as he put down his gun. Sam followed his brothers actions and watched as an annoying small smirk appeared on Nathans face. “So what the hell are we dealing with exactly?”

“Simple,” Nathan replied as he crossed his hands over the pouch of his hoodie. “you guys are dealing with the embodied ideal of a wish fulfillment character. Spawned from the collective minds of horny little ten through twenty year olds, or by the oversaturation of troll stories.” The apprehensive looks he received from Sam and Dean made him smile. “Sorry, that’s the line of spiel we’re supposed to tell you guys to make it seem like we know how these things form.”