christmas kisses ➡️ harry styles

Christmas Kisses [Harry Styles oneshot]

The flowers that were held so tightly in my hand felt like an ice cold pipe. The snow was falling in drifts and everything was dark. The silence was so deafening, it was like something was pounding against my ear drums, trying to capture my attention. But my attention was held by the wrought iron gates that enclosed so many people. I could feel the lump in my throat as I got closer, silently wishing that Harry was here to accompany me. But he was insistent because the paps would merely follow him and if Management caught wind of what I was doing, they would have completely gone haywire, leaking information to the paparazzi.

I didn't want that. I wanted peace and quiet.

Going alone made it so much harder. My pace kept slowing and I was forcing myself to move so that I'd get there before it got dark. But it didn't matter either way because the snow fall would have lit the place up.

My eyes sought out the reason why I was in this place and I located the very spot. It took every fibre of my being to walk down the familiar grassy path as I made my way to the familiar place. It was somewhere where I had spent many a day, talking and just getting things off my chest.

Seeing the headstone, it brought back a rush of memories from the funeral and her wake. I'd lost myself and slept with the first guy who had shown interest in me. And that guy just so happened to be Harry Styles.

I'd never been so embarrassed when he'd asked me what had happened to cause me to be so emotional. After explaining, he practically forced me to spend the day with him so that he could get to know me. And from then on, we just became close. At first, it was friends with benefits, because I was too scared to even contemplate on dating him, but then he said something that changed my perspective.

The media could have dug into my life, but it wouldn't matter because I was starting to fully live the life that my aunt had wanted me to live.

Collapsing at her headstone, I let out a sniffle as I felt the crippling pain once more, shoot through my heart. I hated how I had cared too much, because I knew how much I would hurt.

I had lost the best person who was practically my dad three years prior and then the one person who was my best friend was stolen from me as well. It was like life was teaching me not to hold on, because I'd only get hurt in the end.

I didn't notice that I was crying until I sniffed, my hand reaching up to rub my cold nose only to come across tear tracks.

I changed everything over. The dead flowers were replaced with fresh ones and I added my laminated Christmas card for her.

My mind took me back to when I first brought Harry here, to explain to him where I was going every other week. When I told him how much she had meant to me, almost instantly, he began talking as if she were there.

Never before had my heart melted. He spent an hour talking, saying how pretty I was, how proud of me he was and kept asking for her approval of our relationship. Eventually, a ray of sunshine shot through the clouds. It had been drizzly all week and it was the first bit of sunshine we'd seen. And as fast as it had appeared, it had gone. And we both understood. It was her approval.

More tears were falling by this point as I placed a hand on the headstone, letting the sobs leave my lips. I knew I needed to get it out of my system.

"You know, this year would have marked four years without him. And you always said that we were going to get drunk together and have a ladies night in. But here I am, crying over you." I got out a shaky laugh before more tears began to fall and I started crying all over again.

It was like I was being shaken by the pain, because my mind couldn't think straight.

I heard the creek of the gate and I felt my heart pound. If anyone recognised me, that would be it. I'd be hounded.