Ashes

Twenty-Nine: We All Fall Down

A/N: I'm so sorry this took me so long! The next (and final!) chapter will be up at some point soon! Thank you all so much for reading!

Breath in, breath out. You can do this.

The worn-out sneakers on my feet stomp in almost a fury against the grass beneath, having left paved paths behind far too long ago. All I can see now are forests and mountains, the only sign of life being the cities in the distance. It's harder, and more painful, but it's quiet, and free of interruptions.

Running around the area beyond our houses has become a sort of escape at this point. After a tearful goodbye early this morning to Titus and Eva, I couldn't bring myself to stay around there for much longer.

There's always a sort of chill in the air whenever I head out this early, the awful kind that sticks to the inside of your lungs and burns up your throat. It's probably because it's so soon after dew falls, but it's a little bit painful all the same, and that's coming from someone who loves cold weather.

I stop in a small clearing near the top of a hill, bending over as I suck in gulps of air that still don't see to satisfy my aching lungs.

This hill overlooks the slope the houses are built on, as well as a few other homes nearby. You'd think, looking down on the gray-slat roofs from up here, that there weren't a whole bunch of heartbreak stories beneath them.

I've done this often enough to know what sort of things to expect; the sudden fluttering of birds, movement in the houses beneath, the rumbling of a train in the distance. I don't think I would ever expect someone else to run into my little clearing, much less Felix. He sees me and kind of startles, and then gives me a confused sort of look.

"Hello?" he questions somewhat breathlessly, and then sits next to me when I give him a half-hearted wave.

"Did you hear that Brynn told Ky she was leaving?" Felix says, after sitting next to me for a few seconds in silence. I whirl to glare at him, feeling fury rise up in my veins. Seeing my expression, he's quick to explain.

"No, no, it's a good thing. She only told him about herself. He doesn't know about me or you. Honestly, the only ones who know are us and Echo, now that Titus is gone,"

"Yeah, let's keep it that way," I huff, and Felix merely looks at me with what I think is concern.

"I hope that this helps you instead of hurts you, Ari," he tells me, and I shoot him a confused glare.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just... I hope you actually do get better, like we're all thinking. I would hate to see you lose yourself instead of finding whatever it is you're looking for," he says, watching me carefully as he waits for me reaction. I don't meet his eyes as I answer.

"Yeah," is all I can mutter in response, leaving silence lingering in the chilly air. There's lost stories in the air between us, much like there's ghosts between my brother and my mother. I don't think either of us would have ever dreamed that this is where our lives would be. Felix was meant to grow into his career as a Builder, capable of scaling walls and clambering over rooftops to repair whatever damage people could manage to cook up. He was going to marry Callista someday, raise their kids to be whatever their little hearts desired. They would grow old together.

Callista is on the opposite side of the earth now, and though he'll probably be closer to her in presence, they'll be no closer in spirit. He doesn't remember her. Doesn't remember the day I introduced them to each other, doesn't remember how her eyes would spark whenever he walked into the room, doesn't remember the excited conversations I had with her about him. He'll throw himself back into the fray of this brave new world we've discovered, where growing old with anyone is a luxury we can't afford to dream of.