Lessons On Love

28: Karma Or Trauma

Chapter 28: Karma Or Trauma?

            “It’s karma.”

            I turned to Todd who was standing beside me chewing on his BLT. He popped the last bite of the sandwich into his mouth before brushing his palms together to dust himself off. “You think?” I asked. My voice came out in complete monotone. I was so shocked that even years of acting must have not been able to conceal the dead astonishment in my voice.   

            “Camila, you did run away from him all day yesterday. The fact that he ignored you just now, is that really surprising?”

            I felt a bit of discomfort in my chest. Okay, I admit that I might have been a bit harsh to Marshall yesterday, and that we never had a really good public school relationship in the first place, but did he really have to turn his nose the other way when he walked within several inches of me? And I even hardened my resolve not to run away. I even said “hi” to him. And all he did was look me in the eyes before turning away and continuing his conversation with his teammates.

            “I don’t think that’s it,” I said. “He came over last night – to my house.”

            “Eh? Why?”

            “He wanted to come in and talk.” I gripped my stick of cucumber and started to gnaw on the side of it just thinking about it. “And I left him out in the cold.”

            Todd burst into laughter after my confession. “You did great,” he said, suddenly jumping in front of me. Grabbing both my hands in his – and causing me to drop my cucumber stick – Todd beamed at me ecstatically. “I know I’ve told you this before, but I just wanted to say it again. Camila.” He paused for effect. “If things don’t work out with Marshall… you’ve still got me! You can always still fall in love with me!”

            I took my hands out of his grasp and continued walking. Let’s just pretend I never heard that. Then again… maybe that was what I should have done in the beginning. If I had chosen to fall in love with Todd from the very beginning, would the road I’d be walking on be easier? Would it have fewer curves?

            I began to be curious about things that I was never curious about. “Todd, do you remember the day I failed the audition, and we were trying to decide whether I should try to fall in love with Tyler or Marshall?”

            “Yeah,” he grumbled, fixing his glasses. “Why are you bringing that up now?”

            “Because I want to know. Remember how you suggested flipping a quarter to decide between the two?”

            “Yup. Heads for Marshall and tails for Tyler.”

            “What was the result?”

            “It doesn’t matter.”