Diaries of the Thick Girl Committee

Tracy 5: Charm Trapped

I honestly dislike mystery, because I end up hating the outcome. I hate reading a chapter and not knowing whats going on at the end. I'll end up frustrated and lose interest in the book. This is just me. But the little that I do add is pretty obvious. It's suppose to be. It gives that extra push and builds irony. So if you haven't figured it out yet, then dig a little deeper. It would make the story so much better.  ;)

This chapter goes at a faster pace than usual.

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 I can't even explain these past two weeks. An emotional roller coaster is the best way to put it. It feels like I''m pregnant all over again. At one point I'm ripping the follicles of my hair and at another I'm swooning over feelings I shouldn't even acknowledge.

Two weeks later, he is still here. Two weeks later did not change my feelings for him (actually it may have made them stronger). Two weeks later, we have a friendship.

I don't even know how it happened. After the rubba tub tub accident, a daily conversation would spark, and I would find myself seated right at the other side of the table. It was like he did it on purpose. He knew that I would get caught up in the mist of him, and he would happily use his charm and I would happily oblige his scheme. Somewhere inside me, I knew I was exaggerating but that's honestly what it felt like. A motive.

After putting my hair in a high pony tail, I walked to the doors of the staff room. When I was almost at the exit, a fast breeze flew by me which had me stumbling to keep my balance. Quickly turning around, my annoyance went down a level. Liz was at her locker, quickly shoving all her things in her purse.

“Liz.” I said cautiously. “What are you doing? You okay?”

She looked at me. Her face full of rage and sadness. That's different. Liz is always so happy-go-lucky. Always thinking an the bright-side and smiling. She always had a little attitude on her and was a tad bit feisty, but her heart was always in the right place.

Her eyes darted to mine, like she just noticed I was standing there. They were burning red, from both tears and fury.

“I can't stay here anymore, Tracy. This place ain't shit.” she said as she slung her purse on her shoulder.

My heart dropped. Liz couldn't leave. She was the only person that was keeping me even half sane. I'm already losing my damn mind, and with her gone, it will completely evaporate in to a mental institution of its own. The sanity that I did have left, thought better.

Liz is a grown woman and can do as she please. This place is a hell hole and who am I to say don't leave? I'm trying to do the same exact thing. Get the hell up out of here. Liz is young and has her whole life ahead of her. She shouldn't be wasting her time and education working for bare minimum, especially not in this God forsaken place. Just because my dreams came to a halt, that doesn't mean hers still isn't in motion.

Giving her a saddened look, I nod my head, understanding her decision.

“I'm sorry, Trace. If I stay here, Imma be stuck here forever. I just can't do it. I'm not in school to be a waitress my whole life. This,” she said lifting her hands up “Is a fucking trap. It's not even worth it, Tracy. If I were you, I would be looking for a way out too.”

She slammed the locker close and marched out the room.

I was taken aback, a tad bit. Her words were almost a slap to the face. Not the sense of it but because it was the truth. This place was a trap, and I think I may have been caught. I tell myself this everyday but it's different when it comes from someone else. Especially someone who is younger. Someone who is actually finding an escape.