Dear Jimin[COMPLETE]

Part one.

Dear jimin,

This letter is everything I've been feeling for the past two years.
They say when you write your problems maybe you'll feel better, but why am I crying my eyes out thinking about you?
I don't know what happened to us to be drifted apart like this

Maybe it's the stress , maybe it's your parents that didn't accepted me because I'm not from their high class,
Maybe the problems that made us so frustrated and before we know it reached the climax and broke us into pieces and leaded us having this big gab, that soon turned into a white,emotionless space that filled our hearts and brains.

I still remember the night we ended our blissful yet poisoned relation.
You were out clubbing with the boys after our big and usual fight , and I was home crying and screaming surprised how we ended this way after 2 years of love and sacrifice. So I took the choice that I thought was right : I packed my bags, left all of your gifts but the necklace you bought me for our anniversary and left. For good.
I took the first flight to America and lived in a small apartment beside my grandparents.
I started working hard to provide myself a better future and education so I worked and went to the university.

But let me tell you something, I miss you like hell.
Every time I go to sleep and watch the empty side of the bed tears start floating down my cheeks because I miss you warmth, and the way you used to sing for me this little lullaby with your melodic voice,
I miss the way you used to hold my hand , the way it fitted with mine
I miss our cuddles, the way your legs would straddle mine and my head snuggled to your warm chest , and your morning kisses all over my face and body.
I miss waking up to the smell of pancakes on early Sunday mornings.
I miss your eyes full of passion whenever you do or watch something you like.
God I miss everything about you , your smell , your laugh, every single thing that you hated about yourself , I miss it.

Remember that time when we were watching tv and a big storm came ? You hugged me closer and started singing anything just to make me better.
Remember when I was eating my burger like a pig and I told you to look away because it's embarrassing ? You frowned and told me I was the most beautiful girl you'll ever see.
Remember our pure love ? This is what I want before I die.
You were always so kind hearted , bright and full of fluffiness until our problems took the hem of the relation and you started being so cold that you gave me shivers, no kisses , no hugs , our love was fading away.

So whenever I'm doing something or going elsewhere I just start asking myself , how are you doing ? Are you eating well or the usual diet that I utterly hate ? Are you seeing another girl ? And if you are is she treating you well ? Better than I did ? It breaks my heart thinking about it ,but I hope so. Because you deserve every beautiful thing in the world.

And me being always honest with you I'm not gonna lie and tell you that I didn't go on a few dates , but I always left them hanging cause no one compares to you , no man has made me feel the way you did. I couldn't love anyone after you.

And I was far from beautiful , your mother herself said it .
I never deserved you , I was always scared about you leaving me and finding a more matured , pretty and well educated girl with good manners and etiquette like your entourage. So I guess I did a favor for the other girl , because if she exists now, than she is holding a treasure.

I don't know why I'm rambling and talking about stuff that you don't even care about but I just wanted to tell you that I miss you much it hurts , and you'll always be the best thing that ever happened to me, no man can Trespass you.
Have a good life whenever you are , always be happy, love yourself and please never blame yourself for what happened because its our fault.
Man how I miss the word our as in us ..
One last thing , I love you so damn much jimin , so much.

-Y/N