Revved Up

Neighborhood Watch

Neighborhood Watch

When December rolled around, the neighborhood got together. That is, all but the POJ family. We met in the early morning as there was no way that the POJ family, or any of their many guests, would be awake at that hour. The meeting was conducted in my parents’ home, and my mother put out the good china and served mince pie as it was and is the season. 

It was determined that another round of providing sweets for the POJ family would be performed. Most of the neighborhood was eager to participate once the secret ingredient was unveiled, as it was to be a theme gift for the holidays. 

Oh, you’ve never given a theme gift, Officer? Well, the general idea was to provide sweets but for them all to contain one special ingredient. Now, as you might recall, my parents’ failed attempt at replanting petunias had resulted in an accidental purchase of Jimson weed. When my parents’ driveway was clear, they went to the local public library and learned that the plant is, well, it’s got certain interesting uses. Therefore, my parents went to the local garden supply center and purchased the remainder of their stocks. I suspect that the garden supply center had no idea what they had.

My parents and the other neighbors made it a point of cultivating Jimson weed in boxes within their own homes. The seeds were lovingly harvested, dried and set aside. Once that process was completed, and the neighborhood had decided to provide a theme gift, the remainder of the matter was rather simple. 

Oh, you think it was a bit much, Officer? Have you not been listening to a word I have been telling you? And you see; Jimson weed has several uses. It’s really only overuse that causes what, well, what ended up happening. Because taken in smaller amounts, I understand it to be a bit of a spiritual herb. We had long smelled various burning herbs over at the POJ home, so we naturally assumed that those persons would be able to utilize our gifts in their usual manner. 

We had no idea, Officer, that they would be greedy. And we certainly did not know that the theme gifts of Jimson weed-baked goods would prove fatal. Now, Officer, the Neighborhood Watch is very vigilant and so, while I’ve enjoyed speaking with you, I think we’ve got this matter well in hand. But before you go, do take a brownie.

In fact, take a whole pan of them. They’re homemade. 

I insist.