The gay guy and I (ON HOLD FOR EDITING)

Friday 13th, January, 2005.

Friday 13th, January, 2005

I don’t know where I am. I fell like I’m all alone and this place scares me. There are people lined up against the yellowing walls. Some stare at me scornfully, some laugh, others won’t even meet my terrified gaze.. I glance up at Mummy and Daddy. They won’t look at me either. Why are mummy and daddy doing this to me? Did I do something wrong?? Why are they taking me here. I don't want to leave them! Don't they want me? 

I clung to Mummy’s leg, stuffing my face into the warm cloth to hide from the scary people. The woman that had led us through these halls stopped suddenly in front of a scruffy looking door. It was painted a bright pink and it made my head hurt. The door was opened and I shot inside – anything to get away from the people outside. The room was small and mummy put down my bags on the cold, hard bed in the corner. Nothing like my princess canopy in India, with its flowery silks that hung around me, keeping me safe and cosy. There was no silk here. No warm colours. Apart from that yucky pink on the door.

"Why am I here Mummy?" I asked her as she gently sat me on her lap. "Are we all staying here together? Where are your bags?" She sighed and stroked my thick hair away from my face. I usually loved her to stroke my hair. Somehow it wasn’t as soothing as before. There was something robotic about the way her hand moved across my head. I heard her sniffle. I didn’t want her to cry.

“What’s wrong Mummy, don’t be sad” I said, twisting around on her knee, so I could see her face. A fat tear had gathered in the corner of her left eye.

"Oh Jasmine, my little flower.” She begin. You know I don't want to leave you. I love you so much darling, but it’s just not a good time for me and daddy right now. Its all for the best, you understand?" My Mother looked hopefully at me.

"Ok mummy" I said with a small nod. I looked down at my shiny black shoes trying not to cry. 

"Don’t cry darling, we’ll come and pick you up soon. When we have everything sorted out." Mummy said with a sad smile. A tear rolled down my dark cheeks and into my mouth. The salty taste made me feel sick. There was a loud toot from outside the small window. "That'll be for us sweetie" She said as she stood up briskly and kissed me softly on my forehead. 

Daddy was stood beside a long narrow mirror leant against the back wall. He looked sad, but not as sad as Mummy. He opened his big arms and beckoned me to him. I ran straight into his open arms and he scooped me up into a snug bear hug. He smelled like cinnamon and rose petals. I took a deep breath and steadied myself. Looking in his eyes, I asked seriously “Why are you leaving me Daddy?”

“I have to Jasmine” He whispered softly in my ear.

“When are you coming back?” I asked hopefully.

“I’m not sure baby. I’m not sure.” I felt the hope drain from my face. I had been nothing but good. I was never so much as a hair out of place. What had I done do make him leave me. Sadness washed over me and when he put me down, I felt cold and numb as they walked out of the door and away from me, leaving me in this horrid place.

After a moment, I willed myself to move and ran to the window to see Mummy and Daddy driving away in a taxi, without so much as a second glance. And then, I cried.