Labor of My Love

Three

Rae did what the woman suggested and didn't return to school that day... or the following day, or the day after that. Instead she just sat alone in her apartment room with the shades, drawn, curled up under a tattered blanket, facing her thoughts that floated around her in the darkness.

To her great surprise, the cops never came to her door that day, nor any day after. And as much as she wanted that to change the fact that the day had gone that way, she knew that it didn't change a thing. She had still snapped, and her feelings were still the same. Something had died inside of her that day, and the small spark that had kept her going had gone out. It took every muscle in her body to keep herself breathing, keep herself going. Finally, Raegan couldn't take it anymore.

Crawling out from the safety of the dark room, she slowly drew open the shades covering the sliding door leading outside. Light flooded in, burning her eyes so that she blinked away tears blindly.

Turning over her left shoulder, she found herself facing a dresser mirror. She squared her shoulders and stared at her reflection for a long time, taking in all of her flaws. Her curly, blood red hair was messy and unkempt, she had mascara smudges running down her cheeks, and her eyes were red and swollen.

She saw herself as many things; ugly, worthless, out of control. Nothing.

No one would notice if she simply vanished.

Facing the glass door once more, she gripped the door handle and pulled it open, stepping out and onto the balcony. Below her was a perfect view of the city; rooftops, passing cars, small pedestrians walking with their families four stories below her. Turning a tear-streaked face toward the sky, Rae silently took in the overcast blanket of the clouds, then looked back down at the street.

She had considered leaving a note on her bed, then remembered that there was no one to leave a note to. There was only one thing left to do.

She pulled her hair out of a ponytail, letting it fall to her shoulders and catch the wind. Then, taking a deep breath, she gripped the edge of the railing with both hands and swung her right leg over the rail, then the left, until she was floating over the city with only her hands on the railing and her toes on the overhanging concrete ledge. All she had to do was let go.

An invisible force seized her heart and stomach as she hovered there with the choice of what to do on her shoulders.

Before she could further overthink things, she let her left hand drop off the rail, but she couldn't make her right hand let go. She choked back a sob as she hung there, completely torn between jumping or climbing back over. Her fingers were slipping on the dew-covered rail, and she realized that soon she would fall whether she jumped or not. Finally, she made up her mind. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and...

"Don't."

Her eyes snapped open, startled by the voice. She quickly pulled herself up with both hands, looking for who had said it. Standing against the sliding glass door leading back inside was none other than Daniel, the mysterious boy in the rain.

She wondered if she was delusional. How had he gotten into her apartment, anyways?

She searched for something to say, but all that came out was, "What?"

"Don't jump," was all he said, eyes fixed on her as she stood trembling on the other side of the metal railing.

"You don't understand," she snapped, suddenly angry. "I have to."

How could he possibly know what was going on in her life? How could he simply walk into her apartment and tell her what to do? Raegan soon realized that she was getting too defensive and swallowed the guilt from her words with the lump in her throat.

He slowly stepped forward, gaze never wavering. Slowly, he held out his hand to her. "You can still climb back over the rail. Just grab my hand and I'll help you back over."

"I don't need your help," she told him quickly.

He took a step back and bowed his head, but still his eyes were on her.

Her eyes brimmed with new tears. "Don't you get it? There's nothing left here for me. I can't go back to college, I'm broke, and... No one..."

She paused, sniffling.

"I know," he said gently. "But that will change, if you just climb back over the rail. You don't have to stay here."

"I have nowhere else to go!"

"I know a place."

"Yeah, I'm definitely going to follow you to the ends of the earth because you're trying to help me," came Rae's rather sarcastic reply. "I hit you with a car, and now you show up in my apartment, which is locked, mind you, and now you want me to follow you to your evil lair? No thank you. I'm not interested in whatever crazy shit you're trying to goad me into."

He responded quietly, "I know it might sound crazy, and then again, I'm not the one about to jump off of a balcony here."

She fell silent, and he said again, almost pleadingly, "Just grab my hand, and I'll pull you back over."

Her eyes drifted down to look at the deadly drop below her, then back up at Daniel. Something in the way he spoke and the sureness in his expression made her change her mind, and slowly she climbed back over the side of the rail, ignoring his outstretched hand as if it would hurt her pride too much to take it.

He breathed an audible sigh of relief, which surprised Rae, because he had never showed any nervousness before. "You made the right choice, Raegan."

She nodded wordlessly, still staring at the ledge.

He waited for everything to sink in, as it was obvious her mind was still reeling from everything that was happening to her. A few moments passed before he said, "I don't want to scare you, but there's a few people you need to meet, and I don't think you'll be too eager to go willingly..."

"Are you joking? I'm grateful you talked me down and all, but you're correct in assuming I'll never want to meet any psycho friends of yours. If you-"

Suddenly, the words caught in her throat, and her breathing slowed. Her vision blurred, and a feeling of immense exhaustion overtook her. From somewhere nearby, she heard Daniel whisper, "I'm sorry."

The world tipped and swayed, and before Rae could regain her balance her knees gave out and she collapsed. Instead of landing on the cold cement patio, a pair of arms enveloped her and helped her to a nearby plastic chair, and that was the last thing she was aware of before the darkness surrounded her and everything faded away.