The Chase

Chapter 23

Oh. My. God. The amount of votes I got after the chapter is surreal. Thankyou so much to all those people who voted for me.

I also noticed that I lost a few readers after that chapter. I'm sorry if it's not the type of story your looking for, but I've had it planned out for a while now. Please keep reading, it will hopefully be worth it :)

Maddie's POV

It's been 7 hours. 7 hours of darkness and not feeling a thing. The first thing I wake up to is from the all to familiar stinging on my stomach. The feeling confirmed last night happened. I gave in.

Rolling into my back, I slowly peeled my shirt up. I looked down at the cuts that have became agitated and red over night. The wounds were still slightly open, and not scabbed like I hoped them to be, tiny amounts of fresh blood was seeping out. I didn't move to clean up the blood, instead I stared and felt ashamed.

I had cracked. And I wish I hadn't. I now remember why I had promised myself to stop. You look or feel the cuts and you feel ashamed with yourself. It makes you feel even more crap, more worthless. It made me feel like a freak. But I guess you could say that after last night, I am one. (If any one of the readers does self harm, I mean no disrespect. I'm going off how I felt when I had done this. But know you are NOT a freak and people do love you. I can not stress that enough.)

Slowly, I pulled myself up from the safety of my bed and went to have a shower. I wanted to wash away all the pain, physically and emotionally. Last night, everything was blown up and I overreacted, but it still felt good. I don't even know why.

I turned on the tap and hot water fell from the nozzle. I soaked and scrubbed my body. My skin was bright red after this but I didn't care.

I hopped out of the shower and got into my school uniform. I had on the green and white plaid dress that looked hideous, with the woollen dark green jumper with my school initials embroider into it. I pulled my hair back into the usual pony tail and bobby pinned the frizzies back.

I stared at my reflection for a long time. I looked and felt like crap. I had bloodshot eyes from the lack of sleep and big black bags under my eyes. My whole face was pale, different from my usual pink face. I didn't look like me. Since I had never worn makeup, I didn't have anything to make myself look half normal and alive.

I let out a sigh of air, and put on a smile. It looked convincing, like I was happy. But people who knew me well will see through the act. They will know something is up. That something is wrong with me. And I'm not okay with that.

****

I walked into school with my brother Mitch. Apparently we looked the same. Same build, same hair and eyes. Same smile and personality but I never saw it. He was always better than me. He had more friends and he was always socialising, unlike me.

We were walking in silence before our conversation had started. 'Didn't have any of the pancakes mom made us this morning?' He asked me.

I had wanted some, but I couldn't. I didn't need extra food that I didn't need. 'Nah,' I said. 'I didn't really feel like them.'

'You? Not feel like pancakes?' He asked astonished. 'Well that's good, you don't need them anyways.' We parted ways after that.

Ouch. That hurt. I knew I hadn't the skinniest body and I knew I was 'chubby' but hearing it from him. Ouch. Great way to start the day and make me feel good about myself.

****

Period 3. I had Mrs Dann for math, and she is, and I quote, 'The reason kids get expelled.' The teacher herself said that to us, as a way to introduce herself to the class. I didn't have friends in this class but Emily. If you would even call her a friend.