Selfish

Chapter 36

Edward's P.O.V

It was hard to understand. It was hard for everyone to understand. Almost five minutes after James left, Bella woke up feeling better but she still had that sick look on her face. Her skin was slightly paler and there was a dark shadow under her eyes that began to grow darker and darker by the minute. Lilly helped her out with some tea and something to eat while I asked her to explain to me what was her plan.

She said the only thing that mattered for her was safety. She didn't say hey safety, simply safety. Not long after James came back with a little girl, she couldn't have been older than a year or two. What left everyone in shock was the fact that by one quick look at Bella, the little girl jumped out of James grasp and ran to her, calling her Ma. Bella caught her in her arms and hugged her tightly against her, kissing her repeatedly.

We were all speechless and for one single moment I thought that little girl was actually her daughter. But she wasn't, it was obvious. That little blonde, blue eyed angel couldn't be Bella's. They were the exact opposite and yet this girl called her Ma and Bella treated her as if she was her own.

Bella, noticing my confusion, explained it all to me and for a second, it all made sense.

Bella wanted to come back almost two years ago. She wanted to see me, talk to me and explain what had happened but Irina - her half sister - showed up at her doorstep with a major problem in hands. She was pregnant and the father of the child had bailed on her once he knew about her, so Irina went in search for her sister's help. Bella couldn't deny helping her so she held back her original plans.

Bella says Irina was fine during the first months of the pregnancy, she even thought of a name for Mia. Once she was close to her due date things got to real for Irina, she realized she wasn't ready to be a mother and it was too late for an abortion. Bella said she was disgusted by her sister when she said that and even more disgusted when she said she had planned leaving the baby at the hospital.

"You can understand my point of view," Bella said as she played with Mia's hair. "Coming from a mother who didn't want me, I knew what it felt like and thinking my own niece could go through that... I didn't think about it. I told Irina I'd take her daughter, that I'll raise her as my own if she signed her rights away to me. Irina accepted immediately.

"After Mia was born, it wasn't even a day later when Irina signed her rights away. I was scared by them, I thought to myself, 'what have I done? If Irina wasn't ready to raise a child, how was I ready for one? I can barely take care of myself.' Then I was mad, mad because I added one more innocent life to Charlie's kill list."

Irina was captured by Charlie over eight months ago, she was with a boyfriend at a bar in Ireland when they caught her when they caught her. That's why they ran again but Bella didn't want to go anywhere but here.

That night both James and I agreed that it was better for Bella to stay here. Bella didn't agree but it was both our word against hers, she had no other choice but to stay. Mia stayed as well. She was already asleep by the time Jacob, Lilly and James left so I carried her to my bedroom and laid her on the bed.

When I came back to the living room, Bella was trying to get off the couch but seemed to be having trouble with it. I rushed over to her.

"What are you doing?"

She sat back down on the couch and let out a deep sigh. She looked very exhausted, even in pain. "I wanted to walk... You don't have to give us your room."

"Yes, I have. Now let me carry you there."

She looked at me and narrowed her eyes. "You really want to carry me?"