Married at 16

Married at 16 -22

When we got home we set up a place for the police to be. police, FBI, i lost track of who they are. i did everything in a haze, not understanding, not careing what was going on around me. The police kept looking my way with a sympathetic look on their faces. I didnt care. BJ kept trying to comport me. I didnt respond. Even little Caleb tried to make me laugh, make me smile. All he got was a kiss on his forhead and told to go find his mother. 

I whent to our room after i did what was needed from me. I changed, climbed into bed, and turned on cartoons, i didnt want to think, my brain was tired, was dead. I was turringing in before everyone else and could faintly hear the conversation down the hall. 

"What am I suposed to do? She isnt responding to anything!" i heard BJ sigh in frustration.

" Act on instinct and make her feel safe." His Dad offered. 

"Instinct? What instinct I've never done anything like this before Dad. She is my first girlfreind, my first love, my first wife. What am i suposed to do! This is all new, i have no experiance. No sure-fire words to make her happy, no lovey-dovey phrases to get her mind off of things. I dont know how to do this. I know shes in pain and i dont know how to get her to not be. I want her happy Dad. I just dont know what she needs from me." 

" Ben put yourself in her shoes. Josh was just kidnapped and beaten up, the guys fallowing her might be the same ones, she is probably scared of them violating her and her femininity. If they get her they will surely..."

"I dont want to hear it. I don't want to hear what they would do to her. She is going to be safe if it kills me. What do i do to make her safe now?"

"She hasnt eaten in a wile, get her some of her favorite food, flowers, candy, her favorite movie, cuddle. Just let her know your there and you dont love her any less. You dont love her any less right?"

I sucked in a breath, that questions has been lurking in my mind for the past wile know. To know if BJ was mad. If he was burdened by me. He didn't have to have me around. But i needed him around. I couldn't be without him now. I needed to know he still was in love with me. If he was as love-struck as i have been, how i am, and how i pray i will always be. I needed that security. I held my breath and waited.