Life as a Dreamer - ON HOLD

Dreaming of the Letter

From behind my miserable window, I scowled at the pouring rain outside. How dare it rain on a day such as this? It certainly was not setting the right mood.

I had barely enough self-control to keep from bolting right out of my seat and out of the horrible class that was biology—my last and least favorite period of the day.

When the bell finally rang, I was the first one out of the room. Those last five minutes had felt like an eternity. I speed-walked to my car in the junior parking lot as fast as I could without looking utterly ridiculous, simultaneously pulling out my phone and texting Milla, my best friend, to inform her of my imminent departure.

I did my best to concentrate on driving safely on the way home. It wasn’t so easy, though, with such an important moment of my life awaiting me at the mailbox. I made sure to at least keep my eyes focused on the road. It was all I could do to keep from hyperventilating. By some miracle, I stopped at all the right signs and traffic lights, remembered my turn signals, and kept myself out of a devastating car wreck in this darned untimely rain. Either I was having a lucky day, or my driving subconscious wanted just as badly as I did to get home safe to my precious letter.

By the time I’d parked at my house and gotten out of the car, my hands were shaking very badly. I was breathing very heavily. If I were a boy, I’d most likely be sweating very badly, too. But of course I didn’t sweat; I was the farthest thing from a disgusting, sweaty boy. Anyway, the point is, I was nervous. The contents of this letter determined the next chapter of my life, and possibly even the chapter after that. I tried to swallow the huge nervous lump in my throat, but it wasn’t working. I opened up my umbrella as I stepped out of my car. Stupid rain. My shaking hand reached to open the mailbox, then reached inside for the chunk of mail. I was almost starting to feel dizzy as I sorted through the junk and bills and other miscellaneous pieces when finally I got to the one addressed to me. It was large, with the momentous name Spencer Academy printed boldly across the front. I gasped at the realization: it was large! That was a good sign, was it not?

Despite all of my panicky shaking, I somehow managed to pull out my phone once again and press the speed-dial for Milla. This was my moment really, not ours, but I’d realized I couldn’t do it without her support. It was just too much to handle alone. Thankfully, she only made me wait for two rings before she picked up.

“Brie? Did you open it?” her voice called excitedly from the other end of the line.

“No! I can’t do it! Oh, it’s too much! Wait, it’s a big letter! It’s big! That’s supposed to be a good sign, right? Right?” I recognized something close to hysteria in my voice, but I couldn’t stop it from building.

“Yes, yes, that’s a good sign! Now calm down. No matter what that letter says, life goes on. Remember?” Milla answered soothingly.

“Right. I remember that, of course. But Milla, what do I do if it’s a rejection? I couldn’t handle that, I couldn’t! Where would I go? I wouldn’t know what to do with my life!” I was bouncing up and down in anticipation and anxiety at this point.

“Brie. Calm. Down. We’re still in high school. And just because you don’t spend your last year and a half in the Academy doesn’t mean you won’t be going to Spencer University, remember? And no one even knows for sure yet that the Academy’s as good as it’s made out to be, since it’s so new and all.”

Before she even finished her last sentence, I was already shaking my head in disagreement, though she couldn’t see that over the phone, of course. Spencer Academy was going to be everything I’d been expecting, and more even, I was sure of it. Before I could vocalize my disagreement, however, a sudden realization hit me. Milla should have gotten her letter, too! I’d completely forgotten midst my panic over my own letter. “Wait, Milla! How could I forget! What about your letter, huh? Did you open it?” I noticed my elderly neighbors were glaring at me from behind their window for all the commotion I was making, but I ignored them. This moment in life was far too important to sacrifice for the complacence of old people watching the gloomy rain fall.