Novaturient

chapter 2

chapter 2 |

There was something about her that Kai just couldn't shake.

Don't feel special. It was a reminder more to himself than to her.

He'd opened his eyes and found her before him like she'd tumbled straight out of his dreams. Was it her pretty smile, the mischievous twinkle in her eye? Or was it that she was the first person who had looked at him and not seen the sorry mess of his life, but just him.

As the morning dragged on, Kai's thoughts wandered to her more often than he'd ever admit out loud. To his disappointment, she wasn't in any of his other classes. He frowned at the thought of having to wait a whole day before seeing her again.

He knew he had to shake her before this became a habit. He was reading into it all too much, thinking it through and through and through again. She was just a girl. She was only the first person at school who'd talked to him in over a year. She was simply one of the prettiest girls he'd ever seen in his life.

Not that his life had provided many opportunities to see pretty girls.

As time passed, he began to wonder if he'd made it all up. Maybe the only reason he was so drawn to her was because she existed right there in front of him. He was so starved for attention that he'd already become an infatuated, slobbering mess.

This is why you don't have friends, fucker.

Another bell rang, and Kai sighed in relief. Lunch time.

Lunch was one of his favorite times of the day. Kai never ate anything, much preferring to wait and eat at home once the day was through, but instead would find a quiet, shady area out by the field and bask in the stillness. He headed there now, the soles of his shoes crunching over falling leaves.

It wasn't quite cold yet, but you couldn't say it was warm out either. Kai shrugged off his jacket to make a makeshift pillow and laid down beneath his favorite oak tree. His fingers itched for the vice he carried everywhere with him, and he finally gave himself over to it.

The vape he carried was small and cylindrical, nearly undetectable in the pocket of his light wash jeans. He pulled it out now, turning it over in his hand a few times as he brought it to his lips and inhaled. As the smoke filled his lungs, he felt a sense of ease flood over his body. He hadn't even realized how on edge he'd been until now.

His exhale carried with it all the pain he had endured in the last few days. Every middle-of-the-night moment he sat awake and thinking; every feeling of fear.

Sitting out on the lawn by himself beat cramming into that tiny lunchroom any day. He enjoyed the quiet and the feeling of the sunshine as it soaked into his skin. He laid back and for a moment, he just let himself exist. With his eyes closed, he brought the vape back to his lips.

Existing wasn't all that terrible; he knew that. It wasn't like Kai hated his life. He had plenty to be thankful for at the end of the day, and a shitload of things to make like worth sticking around for, but when each blessing was chased by a fuckton of ugly, it was a little hard to stay optimistic. Sure, he didn't hate his life, but he wouldn't say he loved it either.

Tolerance. That was what got Malachi through every moment of every day. Tolerance and a shit ton of stubborn pride. He had people he needed to take care of.

He opened his eyes and stared up at the sky, seeing only blobs and circles.

"Should you really be doing that out here?"

"Fuck," he exclaimed certainly not meaning to speak aloud, but letting pure instinct take over. Unfortunately for him and his ego, he had been mid-puff, which meant that his inhale had most definitely turned to shit and now he was choking like an idiot.