Poems of the Heart

The Pain of the Abused

No one knows what my mother and I hid behind our big smiles,

They didn't hear the slaps of our beating the night prior,

They didn't hear our muffled whimpers of pain, 

hers muffled because she didn't want my siblings and I to hear, 

Mine muffled so that she didn't know, 

That the man she loved to the point of death, 

Nearly brought me to the grasp of death, 

My mother will never know just how I love her, 

For as she enjoyed her good moments with him, 

and THIER kids, 

I was in my room practicing my smile, 

preparing to let my mom continue loving him,

Because I knew as much as he hurt me, 

I could hurt my mother more, 

To have to tell her that he loved to hurt me more than he ever loved her,

I knew she'd be upset, 

and I can't stand to see my mother cry,

Not over me,

So I pushed through my beatings,

 to see my mom smile,

when he didn't hit her that day, 

Because I had already been beaten, 

I took the pain meant for my mother,

 and I hope she never knows, 

That now I feel like it's all I deserve