Driving with the windows down, is one of the most exhillerating feelings ever, well that my oppinion. Second on my list of feel good activities is kicking something, for that reason I have a punch bag hanging in my bedroom. Weird I know, I've been told so.
I was driving Mia to her interveiw, the radio was turned up high but not so high that the whole world could hear it. (I hate people that do that). We were chattering, like we always do and I was happy which is always good to say. People think of those who have lost their parents and think they will never be happy again, but do you know how hard it is to be sad all the time?! Let me know it is so difficult and depressing, I tried it, but it got to the point where I sat there and wondered whether this was how my parents would want me to be, and the answer I came up with was, no.
I guess in the end the fact was I had to live the best I could without them, moving on didn't mean I had forgotten them, it was the opposite infact, moving on meant I was honoring their death thrugh my everyday life. This is what they would've wanted for me.
"So what are you gonna be doing this evening?" Mia questioned, as she checked out some guys in the car next to us while we were parked waiting for the lights to change. She ruffled her hair and looked across at me. "I thought maybe we could go out, meet some new people," She didn't wait for me to answer her former question. I glanced at her, I hadn't been out at night in a long time, infact since my parents died. I wasn't sure that I wanted to, my parents hadn't liked me going out and drinking, and when I had they'd stayed up till I got home (which was sometimes early morning) to make sure I was ok.
"Um, I don't know Mia..." I replied tgaking my hand off the steering wheel to rub my forehead. "I think I have some study to do." Groan angrily she thunmped my dash with her fist and glared at me.
"You and I both know that you have absolutly no study to do anymore! You finished all your course work last night!" I was suprised by her tone of voice, it had suddenly become viscious and spiteful. I suddenly felt a shiver of fear rush through my veins, did she hate me? "Your scared of having fun!"
"No, Mia, I'm just..."
"A orphan who cant move past that fact!" She shouted at me, her spiteful words stung like needles. "You are an orphan Aleah, and will be forever, get over it!" My mouth fell open and I looked at her in shock, my heart was thumping and pain was wripping through my body. This was what she really thought of me, I could tell by the how snaky her voice had become. I'd been living with someone who hated me, she was the person I'd thought to be my best friend and really she was just like everone else!
My anger took hold of my body and I discovered that I was trembling with rage and pain. How could she judge me like that? Her of all people? I'd lost the people who'd been there for my entire life! How could she judge my actions?! These questioned where circling my mind, I couldn't understand how she could see things that way!
"Mia, how could you say..." My voice shattered into void halfway through my sentence and I just found myself staring at her in utter shock. I tried again. "I didn't know you felt that way..."
"Well!" She exclaimed forcing herself to look straight ahead out the windscreen. "It's not like you pay any attention to anything but yourself and your study!"
"Oh..." was all I could get through my teeth. I was so tense that I feell my jaw unable to move. "Well then..."
After the rest of the journey in silence we pulled up to the building where Mia was going for her interveiw. She got out without a word and shut the door with a bang, it was that bang that made me decide that I was moving out, I couldn't stay in the house knowing what she thought of me. I might've thought that she didn't really think of me that way if she hadn't slammed the door, but slamming the door had told me in her language that she'd told the truth and that she didn't really want to repair the friendship.
As I drove away I knew that when she arrived home that evening I would be gone. All my belongings would be gone and she'd never see me again. Slowly as I drove the car on the highway back home I knew that it was time to open my parents emergency account, inside there was over a million dollars. I don't know how they came across that amount of money, all I knew tht it was there and now mine and I was going to use it.
