Rules for Enduring the Sweenys

Rule #2: It's Always Your Fault

Bella had been writing the rules ever since she began babysitting the Sweenys. They were the only way that she was able to survive the weekends. The rules were her commandments, and her journal was her bible.

Bella had just begun to relax on the couch, when something clicked in her brain. There was no such thing as relaxation in the Sweeny household. She slid her journal into her pocket and slowly began her tour around the house, making sure windows and doors were locked.

She’d been trying to ignore the kitchen for as long as she could. As soon as she let Satan’s children into the house, they’d gone straight for the kitchen. ‘A disaster zone,’ she thought. ‘I’m going to be faced with a disaster zone.’ She glanced down at the clock on her phone. 10:42 PM. She’d just finished putting Lucy to sleep, and all she wanted to do was take a long nap. But was that going to happen? Hell no. Sooner or later she was gonna have to put sleeping medicine in Danny’s lemonade and higher grade tranquilizers in Eli’s and Owen’s. Was it poor babysitting…? Yes. But you never had to deal with the Sweeny brothers. She was going to be forced to kick out Lucifer’s Demons too, which she actually didn’t mind so much.

Bella took one step into the kitchen, and her eyes grew wide. The floor was slicked with melted butter, and sprinkled with thousands of cookie crumbs, and the walls were dripping with thick, hardening chocolate. Assorted candy was stuck all over the counter tops, table, chairs, and fridge, using what appeared to be marshmallow sauce. Stuck to the ceiling with white frosting were dozens of graham crackers.

The first thought that entered her mind was, ‘Hm… never figured them for the creative types.’ Instead of becoming angry, an idea popped into her head. She jogged to her car, grabbed her camera, and sauntered back into the kitchen that the boys had completely turned into their very own candy land. She took one picture after another, making sure to fully capture their genius. ‘If Lucy wasn’t sick, she’d love this,’ Bella thought, chuckling to herself. It was almost a shame to clean it all up… but it had to be done.

It took her a good two hours of cleaning and listening to the blaring music from upstairs, before she finally had time to drug the boys’ drinks. A grin stretched across her face as she left the kitchen with her tray of snacks and headed upstairs to the dreaded lair of Owen Sweeny. Before she reached the bedroom, she heard Lucy’s shrill wailing. She set down the tray and ran to the child’s room.

“Bella!” she wailed, standing up in her crib, gripping the bars so tightly, her knuckles were white. Tears streamed from her gorgeous green eyes, down her feverish cheeks. “I want mommy!” the toddler cried. Bella gently lifted Lucy into her arms and rubbed her back as the baby laid her head on the older girl’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry Lucy,” Bella cooed. “I’m right here, it’s okay.” She rocked Lucy back to sleep in her arms as she walked back and forth in the dimly lit hallway.

When she was positive the baby was completely asleep, she knocked lightly on Owen’s door, hoping the boys would hear it over the loud music and video games.

“What do you want?” Danny sneered, opening the door just enough so he could poke his head out. Bella nodded to the tray on the floor.

“I want the Devil’s Henchmen out of the house, and your snacks are right there.” Danny rolled his dark blue eyes, but grabbed the tray as Eli stuck his head out. He grinned mischievously in Bella’s direction. His dark blue-silver eyes were alight with excitement as he brushed his curly brown hair out of his face.

“You bring those snacks for us, beautiful?” Eli purred, batting his eyelashes. He absolutely loved flirting with little Miss Nanny. It got on her nerves to no end, not that she would really show it, but he knew. It was actually quite difficult for Eli and his brothers (including Owen), to figure out what got under her skin, and what didn’t. Some things, after almost a year, they’d learned. But not the Big One; the thing that would drive her away forever, so that their mother couldn’t leave anymore. Why she couldn’t just trust Owen to care for them himself, he’d never understand. “Did you clean the kitchen yet Cinderella?”

Bella chuckled at his question. She patted his head as though he were a child. “You boys made a beautiful gingerbread house! Next time though, I’ll teach you how to make little gingerbread men to go with it,” she cooed, as if he were three. “Time to go home, Morons!” she sang, pushing the door open with her foot.

She heard the boys grumbling about how stupid she was as they sleepily complied. They all looked ridiculously exhausted. ‘Probably from too much playtime,’ she surmised.

“Any other fun you plan on ruining tonight?” Owen growled, glaring at her. She smirked and shook her head.

“Not right now, but I brought you a snack to make up for it in advance.”

“Make up for what?”

“You’ll see. No one likes a spoiler.” Owen hopped off his bed, striking green eyes narrowed.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong miss know-it-all. I love spoilers.” Bella shrugged.

“I don’t. But, I’ll give you a hint… nah… never mind.” A smell wafted into Bella’s nostrils then. “Is something… burning?” For a second, she thought she saw real fear in Owen’s eyes, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared.

“Oh no!” Danny shrieked, unintentionally waking Lucy, who immediately began to whimper. “My cookies,” he moaned, “I forgot!”

Eli, Owen, Bella, and Danny raced to the kitchen where smoke and a mild flame were billowing from the oven. “Danny, take Lucy to the den,” Bella commanded calmly as the boys stood frozen. The kid tried to protest, but reluctantly complied, no longer wanting to be near the fire.

Thinking quickly, Bella grabbed a can of baking powder from the counter, opened the oven, and dumped the entire container onto the flame, putting it out in seconds. A thick cloud of black smoke tumbled into the air, causing Bella to cough uncontrollably for a minute.

With no help at all from Owen and Eli, who were stuck watching in a daze, Bella opened all the windows in the kitchen, hoping to air it out. When she was finished, she gazed over at the boys who towered over her, and smirked.

“What brave boys you are,” she coughed sarcastically, falling onto a chair. “Hm… courage is definitely not your strong suit. Well… that’s good to know.” Owen frowned, offended. He was plenty brave. Fire just… scared them… that’s all.

“I’m going to sleep,” Eli muttered, stomping away angrily. Bella had no idea why he was so upset, but at the moment, she was just glad he was finally going to bed.

“It’s your fault, you know.” Owen’s deep arrogant voice broke the silence that had settled between them. “You were supposed to be keepin’ an eye on Danny.” His accusation was flawed to the point that Bella could only shake her head in response.

“Yeah. I know,” she replied, forcing herself to her feet. “Let’s just go to bed.” Owen complied easily, following Bella into the den where Lucy and Danny were fast asleep. Silently, Owen threw Danny over his shoulder and Bella gently cradled Lucy. “I really hope this is the most eventful thing that happens this weekend.” Owen smiled wryly as Danny half opened his eyes.

“It’s your fault, Nanny,” he mumbled sleepily.

Bella rolled her eyes. Rule number two, it’s always your fault.

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