The new host? (ouran highschool host club fanfic)

Where The Hell Am I?? Fuck A Host Club...

Were the hell am I? Is this the cafeteria no another library. Why are all these guys dressed so fancy is it a spirit day or something. I DON'T CARE I'M HUNGRY!!! My thoughts screamed as I ran threw the millions of fancy people yelling "FOOD!!!!!" At the top of my lungs with fire in my green eyes. I think I ran to fast because I have just ran into a fucking pole and it hurts like hell. I walked off rubbing my nose as people around me started whispering about me i think. There was a group of girls over there by another door I went threw. They were whispering and giggling and looking my way. I smirked as I looked at them and winked my big green eyes at them making them  squeal in excitmet or something. I just ignored them until I herd. "What are they serving today? cake right?" I instantly jumped and started following them to where they were going. Then all of sudden a little voice told me calm yourself its only cake. Then another voice screamed FUCKYOU I WANT CAKE DAMN IT!!!! That pumped me up as I screamed out loud "CAKE!!!" Almost blowing my cover as I hide behind a pole. They went into another door. Oh please be the cafeteria please be a cafeteria please be a cafeteria. those words dominated my thoughts as I opened the door and a bright fucking light shined all over my face and stupid damn rose petals got over my face making me scowl. I walked in and noticed it was a damn host club. I scowled again as I was going to turn around until I saw the delicious chocolate strawberry covered cake. my instincts kicked in as I ran towards the cake on the table and started eating. there was girls at the table as I ate the cake they all giggled and laughed annoying me greatly. "Uhg what a pig. No manners at all. Hmp are you going to pay for that cake?" said a panzy blond boy with blue eyes pouting at me probably because all the women were surrounding me. Then suddenly a group of guys walked up behind him. Another blond little boy on a giant black haired dude. next to him were two twins with orange hair with a geeky looking black haired guy with glasses. Then there was a scrony brown haired boy who looked very original. wait is that a boy? hm... "So are you going to?" "That's a gir-" he put his girly hands over my mouth before I could finish my sentence. As a sweat dropped on his ugly blond hair. "Shhhh don't give away her cove-" I bit his hand before he could finish. Making him scream and start barking at me again. I didn't really hear him because he was annoying and boring. "Hey are you listening!?" "Hell no..." I said bringing silence to him finally. I turned around and said "Later chumps.." I waved my one free hand cause my other one was in my pocket of my black jeans. "And how are you going to pay?" the geeky one said making me stop and sigh. "How much dose the damn cake cost." "50, 000 yen" I quickly turned around my green eyes wide open my red hair with dark black streaks threw it filping in the air making the girls scream as I shouted. "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!???? is that magic cake or something!?" "Wait are you another commoner haruhi do you know him?" "What the hell sempi just because I'm poor doesn't mean I know every poor person!?" "Um if your a uh you why are you here haruhi?" I asked her she looked at me and smiled sadly. "Just like your situation I owe money.." "FUCK NO!!! NO NO WAY AM I BECOMING A DAMN HOST NO WAY!!!" An hour has past since them bastards put me in a uniform and made me join this stupid club. I said that out loud once and made blond sempi cry sadly. I had to say sorry cause haruhi made me. I guess that made him happy cause he gave me a stupid hug. geeky sempi called me the bad boy type. what the hell is that any way? I loosened my collar and untied my tie rolled up my sleeves and unbuttoned my jacket. which made the girls squeak. I just rolled my eyes and flipped my red hair ignoring them. *Splash* Now I'm pissed who the hell spilled water all over me. I turned my head and saw haruhi who had tripped holding a jar of water and her face had gone deathly pale. "s-sage I'm so sorry I t-tripped." "Ugh its okay haruhi its not your fault I'll dry its only water..." I grunted as I streamed my hand threw my wet red hair splashing out some of the water making those damn girls squeal again. blond sempi looked mad at me for some reason. I glared back at him making him flinch. what a wimp I think haruhis the only normal one here. "huh?" I said just noicing that black haired sempi was pushing me to a table full of girls. "Why are we going over here sempi?" I asked as he still kept his blank face. "Your a host you go host." Anime tears came down my face as he pushed me and sat me down at the table. "so sage what type of host are you?" a girl with brown hair asked me. "Tsk what the hell do you think!?" I said glaring at them making hearts pop on top of their heads. "I hear your a commoner is it true?" another one asked with blond hair making me scowl. "You think I'd be HERE if I was rich!?" I barked again trying to scare them but only making them giggle. "uhg.." I complained stroking my hand threw my still wet hair flipping it again to make it dry but it not working and just making all the girls scream in excitmet. "DAMN IT SHUT UP!!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs making them smirk at me. uhg man how annoying. haruhi laughed in the back round making me a little mader. my eye started to twitch so hard I slammed my head against the damn white table over and over again wishing this was all a dream. "Hey sage want some cake?" "HELL YEAH!!!" I said sreaming as I ate the cake right off her fork making her laugh. I swar like 20 more damn girls came over here after that all of them feeding me cake. so I guess it wasn't all bad I got to eat cake. Oh no I hope this doesnt add to my tab wait honey-sempi bin eating cake this whole time  if it was put on my tab honey-sempi would owe a fortune. *ding* Ding? What was that? "Awwwww our times over later sage we'll request you later ;)" The girls said as the winked at me and left leaving me clueless. Haruhi popped up behind me and smiled. "Your times over you can take a break now.""Really awesome hey haruhi pass me the coffee mix I ma thirsty." I asked her smiling a toothy smile. She started crying anime tears making me worry. "Aw hell what did I do!?" "N-nothing I'm just glade someone besides me can make coffee..." She said still crying and smiling making me laugh because I thought it was a joke. "Hahaha thats a funny joke haruhi hahaha ha....ha...oh...oh its not a joke is it oh damn.." I said rubbing my neck and patting haruhi's shoulder. Looking her in the eyes as I said "Im sorry haruhi your a smart poor kid.." "SHUT UP SO ARE YOU SAGE!!!" She yelled at me making me laugh again. Then those creepy twins hikaru and karu popped up behind me. "Hey commoner..." "Names sage remember and what do you want?" "We just want to see what you do on your break.." They said in sync with a creepy smile at me. Making me glare at them greatly that's when honey-sempi popped up and grabbed my damn arm. "Sage!!! want to eat some cake with me!!??" "HELL YES!!!" I shouted picking him up and putting him on my sholders as I ran over to the table. We quickly sat down as he laughed as I stuffed my face. "Haha it seems like you haven't eaten in weeks by how much you eat sage." "Your one to talk sempi.. •-•" I said raising my eyebrow looking him weird making him laugh again. Hehe he's sweet I cant believe he's older then me. Weird... Oh here comes blond sempi I'm screwed. "Sage I see your eating once again. Gezz thats all I see you do is eat... Can you do any thing else?" "Yea just eating is the best blond sempi." "Hey why do you call me that you call honey-sempi, honey-sempi why cant you just call me sempi!?" He barked waving his arms as I looked at him with the really face. "Ugh really "sempi" are you happy now?" I said as I wiped my hand across my face and glared at him. "He smiled and hugged me making me scowl. "Aw sage cant you do anything more then scowl and eat!?" "Ugh yes I told you already sempi." "Okay then show me your progress report?" "Ugh here..." I growned and handed him a paper that had my grades on it. His jaw dropped as everyone came to look as well and there jaws dropped. Except for glasses sempi he just pushed up his glasses and wrote something down on his clip board. "What is it that surpriseing that I'm an A+ student?" "YES!!!!" They all shouted as the looked at me in bewilderment. "Okay sage what eles can you do besides um school?" blond sempi said again as I growned an stood up and ran over to the wall and walked on it then jumped off over them onto the piano. "We have a piano?" Haruhi said as we all responded "It is a music room haruhi?"  I jumped off the piano and sat back down as blond sempi's jaw didn't go back up so I pushed it up my self because a fly was fling around him. It annoyed me so I grabbed chopsticks and grabbed it then killed it. He looked at me in surprise like he never thought I was caple of it. I leaned back in my chair and put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes as he barked again and again. "Ugh sempi do you ever shut up?" I said making him shut up again. Man he's easy. "Were did you learn that sage?" Haruhi asked me as I opened one eye and looked at her then closed it and said. "No were really I taught my self. No ones ever bin here for me so why should I ask someone who doesn't care? They could careless were I'm at or what I do honestly I think they rather have me dead.." I said as silence went threw the room I frowned my brows as I finally opened my eyes and saw blond sempi crying anime tears as haruhi held him. They all looked at me in surprise like I'm a amazing or something. I closed my eyes and smiled as I said "Not everyone has a happy ending or beginning. Their life just sucks...that may be something you guys need to learn.." That's when honey sempi hugged me on my arm making me fall out of my chair then those twins came and did the same thing. Then sempi ugh I'm getting smothered. "Poor sage poor sage poor sage." They all said hugging me tighter about to make me pass out. "Don't make fun...of ..me.." I said having a hard time breathing as I scowled at them they just hugged me tighter and finally making me pass out. The bad part was I could still hear them... "Oh my gosh we killed sage!!!" Yelled honey sempi. "Quickly  lets hide the body!!!" Said sempi as he tried to pick me up but failing. "God he's.....heavy....HEAVY.." He said again trying to catch his breath man he's so weak. That's when I think haruhi put her hand on my neck and said. "He only passed out sempi you guys probaly hugged him to tight..." She said sounding like she was about to burst out laughing. That made me angry I wanted to get up and scare  her but I couldn't. That's when black haired sempi picked me up out of the room into the nurses office I think. I think about 30 minutes past when I finally woke up to see the whole group at my bed side and a crowd of girls in the back. "SAGE YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!!" They all shouted as they came and have me another damn hug. Ugh why why do I have such weird friends. Wait did I just use the word friends? Hmm friends I never had friends before..."Ugh why do you guys....care do much?" "Why sage we're your friends we're suppose to care dork." "Call me a dork again and I'll kill you..." I said as he finch then smiled as a sweat fell on his head again making me mader. "Sorry I know their weird but you'll get use to it....kinda?" Haruhi said as a sweat dropped on her head as we watched sempi,hikaru,karu,honey-sempi, and black haired sempi dancing weirdly and singing. "We didn't kill him we didn't kill him we didn't kill him~" "Man most of them are older then us and they act like children. Well honey sempi is acceptable but everyone else not so much." I said in complete disappointment at my "friends". My hand runing across my face again. My god it only bin a day and I'm ready to get out of here. But I'll see what happens these guys don't seem all bad....oh..oh and they broke the chair..... God I cant believe this shit their so stupid. "Sage you okay you look like you have a headache?" Said honey sempi clinging to my arm again smiling sweetly at me. I sighed and smiled at him as I shaked my head. "No honey sempi I'm just tired. Okay?" I said as I pat his little blond head even though he's older then me but it still made him smile happily. Then the bell rang I guess that means it's time to go home. I got out of the bed a said good bye to sempi and everyone as I went and got my stuff. I threw my bag over my shoulder and put on my badass sun glasses. Then I threw my stupid school jacket in my bag as I pulled out my leather jacket and put that on as I walked over to my motorcycle out side as a group of girls squealed when I sat down. That's when I saw haruhi walking alone. I drove up to her and said. "Hey need a ride haruhi?" "Oh hey sage sure why not." She said as she sat down behind me and I asked her "So were do you live haruhi?" "Just drive I'll lead you okay." "Alright then better hang on then!! ;)" I said as I started driving again and she quickly clinging to my waist trying her hardest not to let go making me smirk. "T-turn right here!!" "Hey do you live in these apartment homes!!??" "Yeah why!!??" She shouted because it was hard to hear each other by the wind and motor from the motorcycle. I stopped in front of the apartment homes and turned off my motorcycle and smiled as I looked at and said. "I live here too." She looked at me and shaked her head then smiled. "Okay then let me invite you in since I'll be seeing a lot of you now. Any way if I don't my dad will just complain why I never introduced you." She said as we walked up to her door I looked around and saw that mine was right next to her's. I wiped my hand across my face and growned as I taped her sholder and pointed to the door next to her's as I said. "Ugh mine's right..next ...to yours..." I said as I scratched the back off my head in frustration and looked at as she smiled and shrugged. I smiled and laughed as I walked in her house and sat down at the table as she made us tea. I looked around and saw a shrine. Stood up as I walked over to it and sat down and said a praise to the women in the picture. When I was done I walked back over to the table and still waited for haruhi to finish the tea. When she was finally done she sat down next to me and we talked. "Sooo besides all the complications with the host club hows the school?" I asked not knowing what to say and wandering if the school is worth my time. "Well yeah its okay but I joined so I can get my dream." "Ooohhh juicy dream secret do tell do tell!!!" I said scooting over to her with one eyebrow raised and showing off my pearly whites. She smiled and shaked her head and making me pout as I drank my tea. "Oh damn this is good haruhi!? my tea is NEVER this good mine sucks.." I said praising her and admiring my tea as she laughed. I turned my attention strait to her and raised my eyebrow again. Having a bord look on my face. She only smiled and said " Your just different...like you don't care about anything." "Well I don't about that but I guess your right. Why should I care if no one cares about me I guess I shouldn't either right?" I said putting my hands behind my back and leaning on the wall behind us with my eyes closed. I think haruhi was about to say something when the door flung open making my eyes shoot open right away and making me jump up. Gasping for air from my fright I see a lady stand at the door. I think maybe haruhi's mother? "HARUHI DADDY'S HOME!!!" I was taking a sip of tea at that moment and his comment has just made me spit it out in suprise. Gasping again I look at the "Women" standing at the door with "her" arms strait out. "Hi dad" Haruhi said as I turn to her in surprise looking at her completely clueless. She just smiled and laughed as she stood up and hugged her "Old man" and finally introduced us. "Dad this is sage my new friend he was also cough forced cough to join the host club. The cool thing is he's a commoner like us...oh god did I just use the word commoner...I've bin next to them to long....oh and he leave right next door. I stood up and smiled at the man holding out my hand and said in the nicest way posable " Nice to meet you sir!!" A sparkle glimmered right off my teeth and he begun to blush and shook my hand whispering to haruhi loudly. "He's a dream boat!! lets think about keeping him..." I laughed at the thought of being held hostage by a couple of cross dressers. The more I thought of it the more I laughed but I tried not to laugh out loud because I didn't want to ruin my first impression. So I straitened up and continued to smile. A heart popped up on top of his head and swayed all across the room squealing like the girls in host club making me scowl again. As he come up to my side and says. "Ohhhh he has a bad side to I like..." He's scaring me a little I moved closer to haruhi which only smiled and laughed in my pain. Making me grown in annoyance and headache pain. I smiled once again and bowed as I said. "Thankyou for the tea and thankyou for introducing me too your father I must go now see ya later haruhi!! ;)" I winked at her as she waved good bye and I walked out the door. I could hear her dad complaining I was gone. I could just imagine him crying anime tears in a corner like sempi. "Hehe..." a laugh left my lips as a smile grew. I walked in my apartment with a smile. That's a first...