Ch 1: All Tied Up

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(set after episode "Our Man in Grrfurjiclestan")

Red glared over his shoulder at the two penguins arguing loudly at the back of the cave. He gave his ropes another tug, twisting his arms behind him so he could use his jagged nails to saw at them.

"British HQ had me tracking The Red Squirrel for years. I'm not letting you take him in without me," Super Secret Agent Nigel argued loudly, flippers crossed over his chest in indignation.

"Yeah, well I've been tracking Red just as long as you have. And I spent 47 YEARS in hiding to do it. If anyone deserves to take him in, it's me," Buck Rockgut stated, refusing to back down.

"I spent 47 years living the deep, undercover life to track him. Crumpets, doilies, nancy-cat stuff..." the Brit continued, waving his flippers in the air.

"Sorry, princess. Red's mine. You'll have to go home empty-handed," Buck announced.

"Why, you over-stuffed, pig-headed..."

Meanwhile, Red had his good eye trained on the blizzard raging outside the cave. If he could manage to escape and make it to the nearest city, he could easily slip away from the flightless birds. It was making it through the snow that would be difficult. Squirrels just weren't made for this type of weather.

The crimson-furred mammal resisted the urge to roll his single eye at the silly argument continuing behind him. Honestly, he was getting too old for this. Maybe it was finally time to retire. But there was a little ache inside of him at the thought of disappearing without a trace again. Perhaps he'd gotten too accustomed to having the two penguins chasing his fluffy tail all these years.

"Red's mine!"

"I have as much right to him as you!"

~Oh, give it a rest. You're making my ears ache~ The squirrel felt one of the ropes snap, and glanced at the penguins to make sure they were still occupied. Perfect. Not that it wasn't fun to have them both together like this, but he'd prefer if they were the ones tied up at his mercy. Maybe next time.

***

Nigel gave the American soldier his best glare, refusing to back down. ~Stubborn Americans. If he'd stop being so gullible and running off to fake places like this, then we could have had Red locked up at HQ by now. Red?~

"You idiot! Red has slipped away!" The British agent pushed past Buck and scanned the cave for clues. The sliced rope told him everything he needed to know. Squaring his shoulders, he headed out into the snow without even bothering to see if the American was following him.

"He couldn't have gotten far," Buck stated, following closely behind the spy.

~What exactly is Red planning to do in this weather? It's barely fit for a penguin, much less a squirrel~

"There he is!" Buck raced past him, nearly pushing him off his feet. Nigel bit back a snappy remark and followed, catching sight of a streak of crimson amidst the white landscape.

The squirrel glanced back toward them, then darted to the side and headed down a sloping hill. Soon all they could see was his bright red tail through the blinding snow howling in their faces.

***

Buck's head snapped up as a loud CRACK filled the air. Diving onto his belly, he threw himself in the direction he'd last seen The Red Squirrel. A black pit seemed to have opened in the snow. A lake, perhaps – yes, they must be on a lake of some kind.

Without a second thought, the soldier dived into the opaque liquid, searching the darkness for any signs of his foe.

***

Nigel came to a quick stop a foot away from the broken ice. No point in both of them diving in. Hopefully the American knew what he was doing.

~We're not far from the cave. If Buck makes it back with Red, we can still hide out there until the storm passes~

The spy had no doubt that Buck would make it back alive; it was Red he was worried about. Death by drowning or severe hypothermia - those were all quite possible for a small, warm-blooded mammal in this weather.

The other penguin suddenly re-surfaced for a gulp of air before diving underneath the icy water again. Dread began to fill the spy's stomach as he waited.

***

Finally, something crimson was pushed out of the water. Nigel darted forward and yanked the sopping wet creature further from the dark hole. The American penguin leaped from the water and rushed over to join the pair.

The mammal was silent, laying as limp as death on the ice. Nigel quickly checked the squirrel over and was shocked to actually find a pulse. It was faint, but it was there. If they didn't get him to the cave quick, he'd freeze to death.

"I've got him." Buck leaned down and easily hefted the mammal's bony body into his arms. Nigel followed swiftly behind as they made their way back up the slope toward their only source of shelter.

***

"We're going to need to warm him up the old fashioned way," Buck decided, setting the limp, red body onto the cave floor. Outside, the blizzard continued its assault, sending a frigid gust of wind into their small sanctuary.

"I agree. I doubt HQ would appreciate us returning with a dead squirrel..." Nigel stared down at the unconscious body at his feet, before meeting the soldier's gaze. ~This is definitely one of the weirdest things I've ever considered doing~

Buck laid down first, wrapping his flippers around the mammal until the squirrel's red back was flush against his chest feathers. "Anytime, hippy."

Nigel swallowed yet another witty response (now was not the time) and slid down to the frigid ground. Quickly, he wrapped his own flippers around the smaller animal's drenched form and cuddled close enough to feel his enemy's nose press into his chest. A wave of relief swept over the spy as he felt his chest feathers sway as the squirrel breathed gently against him.

"Now we play the waiting game." Buck's red eyes peered directly into Nigel's soft green ones, their flippers almost touching as they pressed the crimson-furred rodent between them. Eventually the squirrel's shivers began to subside, his breathing becoming more regulated. Neither penguin wanted to admit aloud the mutual thought running through their heads. ~What if Red never wakes up?~

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